The golden lily
by The'girl'in'white
Summary: Post Bloodlines.Sydney finally realizes that she has feelings for Adrian but she finds out about something that may separate them forever...
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does. This is the first story I've ever written. I am from Bulgaria and I hope that my English is proper but if it's not I am really sorry and I hope you will note if I have any mistakes.

Chapter one:

"Hi"-I said quickly and went to my room. Three weeks after Sonya and Dimitri had arrived with Jill's new guardian I had to move in with Adrian because the new guardian-Amy got my room. I didn't have to go to school anymore but I started to think about my options for college .However I was more worried about living with Adrian. Although I had started to really like Adrian I still felt uncomfortable around him.

All the sudden I heard a knock on the door."Yes."-It was Adrian.

"Hey! What's up?"

"Not much. What is it?"

"Nothing. I was just bored and wanted to see if you were too so that we can be bored together."-I saw that he really needed somebody to talk to. I was going to say that I was tired but that wasn't exactly what got out of my mouth:"Well I don't have anything to do so maybe we can watch a movie or something."

"Great"-I saw the hope in his eyes. I guess that he didn't have much to do a specially now that Dimitri was around. Dimitri and Sonya lived a few miles from here but we didn't see them too much because neither Adrian nor Dimitri felt too comfortable with the situation. We sat on the couch and started watching "Crazy, Stupid, Love."I was really tired and about a half an hour after the movie started I was already sleeping.

I felt someone removing the hair on my face. After that someone picked me up and got up. I opened my eyes a little bit confused and realized I was in Adrian's hands."What are you doing?"-I asked half asleep.

"I'm taking you to bed. It's way past your bed time."-he laughed. He left me on my bed and got me under my covers."Goodnight Sage."

"Mhm"-I was too tired to say anything. When I fell asleep I started dreaming about Adrian. We were on the beach. He smiled and sat on the sand right next to me. "Wow you chose a nice place."-he said with a smile on his face.

"What do you mean?-I asked looking at his beautiful eyes.

"Nothing. So ,do you like the beach?"

"Yeah. I love the beach. I wish we could go more often."-I kept looking at his eyes. They were so beautiful. He was so beautiful. Before I knew it our lips were touching. We started kissing .The kissing became very intense. I took off his shirt. He had perfect muscles. I couldn't stop. I just kept wanting more and more of him. He started taking off my shirt but froze and backed away from me. "I can't do this. Jill…"

I knew why he stopped but part of me felt very unhappy and rejected. I felt as if he didn't want to be with me. I couldn't believe myself. I could not be having that kind of dream about Adrian. I didn't dream for the rest of the night. When I woke up the next day I was surprised that I remembered my whole dream. Usually I couldn't even remember what I dreamt about. I went to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast for me and Adrian. I made some pancakes and left them on the table. In that moment Adrian walked into the room shirtless. He looked the exact same way as he did in my dream. He was so sexy even without trying. Gosh Sydney , stop thinking about him that way."Good morning."

"Good morning! Did you sleep well?"

"Yup thanks .I had a pretty good dream. You didn't have to take me to my bed. You could just wake me up."

"I didn't want to. You looked very tired and you where so calm. Plus I don't mind doing that."

After breakfast I drove to the school to pick up Jill, Eddie and Amy. When we got to the apartment Adrian was fully dressed and I was thankful for that. The moment we arrived Jill looked at me with a devil smile "Can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Sure. What is it?" – I didn't know what she wanted to talk about but I took her to my room.

"So I kind of have to tell you something. Well you know how Adrian can heel people , right?

"Yup."-I didn't know where she was going with that.

"Well that's not the only thing he can do. He has this other thing about getting into people's dreams."

"What? That's not possible."

"Well remember how you dreamt about that beach yesterday?"

"How do you know about you're not kidding. Jill I am so sorry you had to see this."-now I knew why Adrian stopped our kiss. I felt so embarrassed .And what did this mean about me and Adrian. Why didn't he say something about what had happened in our dream.

"It's OK Sydney , really. To be honest I am happy that Adrian is finally moving on. Rose has been stuck in his head for so long and now it's almost as if you erased her. "- I felt both scared and relieved. I was scared because I was not allowed to fall in love with a vampire . My whole life I was taught that these creatures were bad and wrong. But on the other hand I was relieved because I was not the only one with the crazy feelings.

When we got back in the room Eddie and Adrian were watching TV. Adrian still behaved as if nothing had happened. We spent the whole day together. I ordered some pizza. We played fun games and when it was time for Jill , Eddie and Amy to go back I drove them.

For dinner we had the leftovers from lunch. We didn't say anything to each other and when we were done Adrian went to his room. I followed him a few minutes after. I had to clear the air. The door was open but still I asked "Can I come in?"

"I know Jill told you."

"Aww. Well I think we should talk about it."

"Look Sage I know you're not interested in someone like me. Guys like me don't deserve girls like you."

"And how do you know that? How do you know you're not good enough for me? Because I think you're good enough for me. Even more than good enough – perfect."In that moment I realized how close I was because I could feel his breath.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the reviews. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_In that moment I realized how close I was because I could feel his breath._

Chapter 2

We stood there for what felt like an hour. He was observing me and I did the same. He was so beautiful- his eyes , his hair , his body. Adrian had changed for better and I could see it in his eyes. He cared more than he did before. "You deserve to be happy! You deserve to be loved… And do you know how I know that? Because I've seen you change. When you came all you could think about was yourself. You were hurt. You didn't smile too much. The weeks past and you became this whole other person. A person that stole my heart without me knowing it. " In that moment I knew I could never take these words back because they were true. I was in love with Adrian and I was hoping that one day he would be able to love me. He lifted me and took me to his bed. We both didn't say a word. He held me tight in his hands and didn't let go. At some point my eyes started closing and I found myself in Adrian's dream.

We were on the beach again and were sitting in the sand."Adrian…"

"Sage I … thank you! If it weren't for you I couldn't have changed." He kissed me tenderly."Sage I think I'm in love with you. I think I've been in love with you for awhile. And I know that this is going too fast for you and I'll understand you're not ready. I know it's hard enough going against all you've been taught your whole life…"All the sudden I felt like I was going to throw up and not in this world but in the real one. Next thing I know I was running to the bathroom. I felt Adrian behind me but I didn't have time to tell him to stop following me. He held my hair while I was getting rid of our dinner. When I didn't have anything else to throw up he cleaned me and took me to my bed. He was very worried."Are you OK? What happened?"

"I don't know. Maybe I overate or something." I could see in his eyes that he didn't believe me. He taught it was because of him and because of what he said. But it wasn't even I didn't know why I felt so sick. It wasn't just the throwing up but I was also dizzy and I felt like I had fever. I didn't want to worry him. I guess it was just because I was tired all though I didn't know why I was tired. Lately I felt so tired and I was trying to rest but I was just getting more and more tired."I think I'm going to go to sleep now and I bet I'll feel so much better after."

"Oh yeah sure. I'll be in my room if you need me. I'll come to check up on you in an hour…"

"Or you could just stay with me. My bed's big enough for both of us." I saw the big smile on his face. He didn't expect me to ask him to stay. After an hour I was still awake. I was feeling sick and the butterflies from Adrian's hands wrapped around me didn't help.

"I love you Sage. I will never let anything bad happen to you." He whispered. He thought I was asleep. I didn't know if I should answer or pretend I was asleep but I decided that I would be too scared to say it later.

"I love you too Adrian and nothing can ever change that." I could feel him smiling. I pressed my lips against his and kissed him softly and again and again. He stopped the kiss.

"You should really get some sleep. I am worried about you."-he said concerned.

"I'm fine. I guess I was just tired. I've had a pretty emotional week ."

"True."- he kissed my forehead and hugged me very tight.

Eventually I fell asleep but didn't dream anything. Adrian was probably trying to give me some time to rest and as much as I wanted to be with him all the time the spirit dreams were making me tired not as if I was awake but still didn't have the same effect as a normal sleep.

When I woke up in the morning I found myself alone. Adrian wasn't in my bed. I felt sad. I wanted his face to be the first thing I would see when I woke up.

"Good morning"- Adrian walked in the room and jumped next to me on the bed. He kissed me very passionately. "Your breakfast is ready my love." I liked hearing these words.

"You made breakfast? Are you sure it's safe?"

"Heyy you haven't tasted anything I've cooked."

"That's because you've never cooked."

"Well then you'll have to trust me that I make the best breakfast in the world!"

"I don't think I have another choice."- I said with a smile on my face. The sickness from last night was gone. I felt great.

When we got to the kitchen I was nicely surprised by the full table. He had really made a wonderful breakfast. There was pancakes , waffles , eggs and bacon and all kinds of food."Wow please don't tell me this food is just for both of us."

"Actually , it's not. Jill , Amy and Eddie are coming for breakfast.

"How are they going to come?"-I asked. I didn't want them to come with the bus.

"I asked Dimitri to drive them."

"Aww so you've talked to Dimitri."

"Yeah I realized that he made me a big favor. You are the one for me, not Rose and now I realize that."- I couldn't believe he was saying these words. When we arrived here he was ready to kill himself because of her and now it was like I was his whole world. I knew he was mine for sure. I kissed him and wrapped my hands around him. It was so good to know that I was the only one for him and nobody else could replace me. The kissing became more intense and I wrapped my legs around his waist. We sat on the couch and I took off his shirt. He had just started pulling my shirt and the elevator door opened up.

"Sorry I tried to warn them but we thought it would be better to come in sooner than later." – Jill said with a smile. Eddie couldn't stop laughing and Amy just felt embarrassed. Jill sat next to us on the couch while I was getting off of Adrian and he was putting on his shirt."Congratulations. I am so happy for you guys!"-She hugged me very tight. I could see she was pretty excited."And by the way I am starting to control when I come and go from Adrian's mind. Of course I am far from mastering this skill but still I am able to block you most of the times."

"That's great."-I said with relieve. I was happy that Jill didn't have to watch us kissing or even feel it.

We sat on the table and started eating and I had to say Adrian was pretty good at cooking. All the sudden I felt sick again and ran to the bathroom to throw up. And I just had thought everything was perfect.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for the reviews. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_All the sudden I felt sick again and ran to the bathroom to throw up. And I just had thought everything was perfect._

Chapter 3

"Sydney I really think we should call a doctor. This is not the first time you throw up. What's going on?"

"I am fine Adrian. I promise. I guess you don't cook as well as you think."- I started joking but I knew that that wasn't the reason.

Everybody insisted for me to stay in bed for the whole morning. We were supposed to go to Clarence's for feeding in the afternoon and I was able to convince Adrian to take me with them. When we drove to Clarence's Dimitri and Sonya were already there. Sonya gave me a warm hug and started observing my aura. She smiled but didn't say anything at least not until Jill and Adrian went to feed and Dimitri, Amy and Eddie started practicing in the backyard.

"So , you and Adrian? Congratulations!"- she was excited.

"Yeah I guess so. Thank you."- I didn't even need to ask her how she knew about us.

"I am so happy for you two Sydney! You both deserve it."

When Adrian and Jill got back they didn't stop asking me questions about how I felt and if I wanted to lay down for a sec. I kept repeating I was fine but I knew I wasn't. There was something going on and I had to find out what. I was still feeling tired but I didn't want to admit it.

A few hours after we took Jill , Eddie and Amy back to the school. When we arrived at our place I got outside to get the mail while Adrian was parking the car. There was a letter from the alchemist. Inside I found a piece of paper on which was written a doctor's appointment."Great"- I said to myself. The appointment was for tomorrow morning. I decided not to tell Adrian because I didn't want him to worry more than he already did. We took our private elevator and got up in our apartment. The good thing about both of us living together was that we could take as expensive apartment as we wanted and we did.

"Let's get you to bed and I'm going to bring you your dinner after that."

"Really? Oh, come on Adrian. I'm fine. It was probably just the flu."-I didn't want him to treat me as if I was ill.

"I'm worried about you Sage. I don't want you to feel sick."

"I don't , I promise. Plus I'm going to the doctor tomorrow." – I guess it was better to tell him. Maybe now he would let go.

"Ok. I'll come with you."

"It's fine you don't have to."

"I really want to and after we can go to the beach or something."

"Sure that would be great."-I knew he wouldn't give up so I just let him win.

We were both tired so we decided to order some food. I wasn't very hungry but I didn't want to worry Adrian so I ate some chicken. After diner we went to my bedroom and snug into my bed. He kissed me on the forehead but didn't go further. I really wanted to get all I could from Adrian and started kissing him very intense. He didn't back away. We knew that Jill was able to control what was going on in her mind so we weren't worried about that and I guess that's why Adrian let me go so far. He was already shirtless and I was half naked. I took of his pants while he was kissing my neck and making me feel like it was just us two in the whole wide world. In less than a minute we were naked. Just than I started panicking. I had never been naked with a man before. A few days ago I hadn't even been kissed and now I was about to do something so much bigger , so much more important than a kiss. I was scared. I was worried about what Adrian might think about me. What the hell was I doing? Adrian saw that I was uncomfortable and backed away from me.

"We don't have to do this if you're not ready."-he was so nice. I could see the guilt in his eyes already."I don't want to push you Sydney. We have the whole time in the world."

"No. I want to do this"- when I looked in his eyes I realized that I wasn't lying. I felt safe with Adrian. I felt happy. I wanted to be with him now. I didn't want to wait. I couldn't wait no more.

In the morning I woke up with a smile on my face. What I had experienced with Adrian this past night was nothing that I had ever expected. It was so much more, so much better. It was so beautiful and real. For the first time in my life I felt like I had someone to hold on to , someone that I could trust with all my heart. I was even happier because that someone's hands were around me and were holding me tight. Adrian's eyes were opening and I could see the smile coming on his face.

"I love you Sage"-I wouldn't get tired of hearing this in a hundred years.

"I love you too Adrian"-I could see that neither would he.

We just stared at each other for what felt like forever. Unfortunately it was time to go to the doctor's appointment and we got up. I couldn't stop looking at him while he was dressing up. He was so sexy.

"Are you checking me out Sage?"- he said with a smile on his face.

"You bet"- All I wanted to do all day was stay in bed with Adrian.

When we got to the doctor's office Adrian saw that I was nervous and started calming me down.

"I'm sure it's nothing"-it felt like he was trying to calm himself down too.

They did all kinds of tests on me but I didn't get worried about it because that was a common practice with alchemist. They wanted to make sure that their people were healthy. While we were there I also asked to get a prescription for birth control pills. Me and Adrian were safe when we had sex but I still wanted to make sure.

When we were done the nurse told me that I could get the results in 2 days.

We had decided to go to the beach after so we followed our plan. When we got there the first thing I did was to go into the water. It wasn't cold and it felt good on my skin. Shortly after that Adrian joined me and we started goofing around. We had so much fun. The beach was my favorite place since I was a little girl and to be able to be on my favorite place with my favorite person in the whole world was wonderful.

We stayed on the beach throughout the whole day. It wasn't too hot and we didn't feel like leaving. We talked for hours. We talked about our favorite things and about things that made us angry. We talked about our passions and our worries. We talked about each other and both of us were happy that finally there was somebody to hear our stories and understand our feelings.


	4. Chapter 4

I would recommend you to listen to "Shark water" by Project twin while you read. I think that the melody is very suitable for this chapter. I was listening to this song while I was writing the chapter. You don't need to listen to the song. I just think that it is perfect for the chapter. If you do decide to listen to it I would recommend to do it in the middle of the chapter.

**Thank you for the reviews. I really look forward to read more of them. They definitely keep me going so I would really appreciate if you continue writing them. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_We talked about each other and both of us were happy that finally there was somebody to hear our stories and understand our feelings. _

Chapter 4

The next day:

I decided to call Jill and see how she was. Adrian was out grocery shopping and it was the first time I was alone for the past few days. I didn't like to stay without him and even now I missed him.

"Hi Sydney!"-she sounded very happy as usual.

"Hi Jill!"

"How are you? I was just thinking about you. Did you get the results?"

"I'm going to get the results the day after tomorrow but I think I'm fine plus alchemist never get sick. Our tattoos protect us."

"Oh yeah I forgot about that. By the way can I come over on Friday and stay with you for the weekend? I like Amy but she doesn't really like to talk."

"Sure. I would love for you to come over!"-when I first came here I wouldn't have believed that I would be happy to have a moroi in my home but I really had changed. I didn't feel scared or nervous around vampires anymore.

"Adrian is coming home. I'm gonna go now. See you tomorrow for the feeding?"

"Yup see you tomorrow!"

I heard the sound of the elevator and got up. The elevator door opened and Adrian's hands were fool with bags.

"Are we going to feed a village?"-I asked surprised.

"Nope I just bought more stuff so that I wouldn't have to leave you alone all week."

"Whole week? More like a whole month."-I laughed. "By the way Jill is coming over on Friday."

"Ok great."

I felt that terrible feeling like I was going to throw up any second. This time I had the time to say to Adrian: "I'll be right back."

"Ok"-he didn't seem to notice I was in a rush and I was thankful about it. Of course I puked my brains out again.

In about 5 minutes I was back in the room and feeling much better than the last time I was here.

"Are you ok? You look kind of pale."-he asked concerned.

"Yeah I'm fine don't worry."

For the next day and a half I didn't feel sick. I was feeling better than ever. Adrian was with me all the time. We went to the movies and didn't remember which movie we saw because all we were looking at in the cinema was each other. Yesterday Adrian got a call from some of his college buddies and he was going to refuse their invitation to meet them but I told him it was going to be fine. I told him that I was gonna go get the results and that he should meet his friends and I was happy that he agreed because I didn't want him to get as worried as I was.

It was 9 am and I got up. My appointment was at 10:30 so I made some breakfast for me and Adrian before he got out and then dressed up but I realized that I had lost weight when I put on my pants. It was probably from all the puking. Usually I would be happy from a weight loss but right now that just made me more worried than I was. When I arrived the doctor was already waiting for me. I couldn't recognize if she had good news or bad news. She didn't show one single emotion on her face.

"So Sydney your results came out."

"And?"

"Have you had any symptoms of being sick?"-I didn't like where she was going with this.

"Actually yes. I had nausea and I feel tired all the time and I think I had fever the other day but I guess it's just the flu."

"Sydney I don't want you to freak out."

"What is it?"-she had bad news.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you that you have Leukemia also known as blood cancer."

I didn't realize what she was telling me. Her words just didn't get to my mind.

"That's impossible"-I laughed."Alchemist can't have cancer. Our tattoos protect us from being sick. It can't be. Your results are wrong."

"Look Sydney it is very rear with alchemist to have any kind of disease but it happens. It has happened before. It probably happens to one in a million but it does."-I could feel the tear drops coming out of my eyes.

"That's impossible. It can't be. I'm finally happy. This is not happening."

"I am so sorry Sydney."

"How bad is it? How much time do I have?"

"I recommend to start with chemotherapy."

"You didn't answer my question."-I didn't look at her.

"About 8 months maybe more if we treat it."

Eight months , that was so unfair. How could I be one in a million. This was not fair. What was I suppose to do now?

"I'm not going to treat it."

"Sydney you shouldn't give up. Miracles happen all the time."

"I've seen my grandmother go through this. I want to have at least those 8 months. No treatment. I don't want it. I would also appreciate if you don't tell the alchemist about this."-I got up and left.

I drove around town for an hour and ended up on the beach. The day wasn't as sunny as usual and there wasn't many people there. I started running to the water and got into the deep. I wasn't myself. I started thinking what I was going to tell to Adrian. I didn't want to break his heart for the second time because this time it could stay broken forever and it was not fair to him. For a moment I realized that I was shaking. The water was freezing. I got out , I was all wet but I didn't care. I was just hoping that Adrian wasn't at home yet.

When I got there the house was empty. I got under the shower and calmed myself. While I was combing my hair I was watching myself in the mirror and realized that's how I wanted Adrian to remember me. I knew that at the end I wouldn't look that way. I was going to stay today. I was going to tell him I was fine and I was going to have the best day with him. Tomorrow I was going to leave before I had the influence to totally destroy what he had accomplished. I was hoping that he would forget me easier than Rose. I was hoping that I wouldn't hurt him the same way she did. I was hoping I didn't mean as much to him as he did to me.

I got dressed and put on some makeup. I curled my hair and did my nails. I wanted this night to be perfect because it was going to be the last. For dinner I made stakes with some potatoes and some salad.

I looked at my phone to see what time it was and I saw that I had 5 missed calls from Adrian. I called him. He was probably worried.

"Hey baby!"

"Hey , I was worried. What happened?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"Thank God! I don't know what I would do if I lost you."

"Probably you would have more time for yourself"-I started joking."So when are you coming home?"

"In 10 minutes. I'm almost there."

"Oh, ok. Great! I'm waiting for you."

"See you in a sec."

"See you."-I was going to cry but I would ruin my makeup.

In exactly 10 minutes Adrian was at the door. He had bouquet in his hands. The moment he saw me he picked me up and started spinning me in the air. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he started kissing me passionately. He left the bouquet on the couch and took me to his bedroom. I guess the dinner could wait.


	5. Chapter 5

I would definitely recommend to listen to "In my veins" by Andrew Belle while you read this chapter but again you don't have to. I don't know if I'm going to give a song for every chapter but I'll definitely have more chapters with music. Also I want to tell you that my chapters will probably start coming out not as fast because I start school but I'll try to keep up.

**Thank you for the reviews. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_He left the bouquet on the couch and took me to his bedroom. I guess the dinner could wait._

He laid me on his bed. He started kissing me very slowly. He moved to my neck while he was taking off my shirt. After he did I took off his. I tried to memorize everything because it was the last time we were together, the last time we were happy because as much as I didn't want to admit it the moment I would get out of this apartment I would break his heart. After two hours we were out of energy and decided to recharge with the now cold dinner I had made.

"Wow it's very tasty. I never thought that you would be able to cook almost as good as me."

"Almost? Well thank you my love."-I threw a potato at him and that started a really long food fight. When our food was over Adrian started throwing me all over our apartment. When he threw me on the couch I recognized that look which he had when he was studying my aura.

"What is it?"-he asked concerned.

"What do you mean? –I asked worried that he might see more than I wanted him to see.

"Well I can definitely tell that you're happy looking at your aura but there's also something really small but still is here, something that worries you, makes you sad."

"Oh come on you're probably too tired because I don't have anything to worry about."- good job Sydney. Keep lying to him as if he doesn't know you too well.

He realized I didn't really enjoy the conversation and he picked me up and took me to his bathroom. He got us both under the shower with our clothes on which weren't too many. He only had some pants on and all I had was his shirt which was like a dress on me since I was pretty short and he was much taller than me. We kept kissing what at the moment seemed like forever but looking in the future it wasn't even close to enough. How was I supposed to leave all these magical moment when I knew I had a choice. The choice was to stay here and not hurt Adrian at least not yet but than hurt him much more than I would if I left now.

I woke up. It was early. For a split second I had forgotten about all of my problems. All I knew was that I was with Adrian and that I was happy. In the next second everything got back to me. I had cancer and I was going to leave the love of my life today.

Adrian was still sleeping and I got the chance to just look at him. Look at his calm beautiful face and think about the wonderful moments he gave me for the short time we were together. His eyes started opening and he got a big smile on his face when he saw me. He didn't say a word. He just took me in his arms and went back to sleep. I didn't want to waste my time with sleep but in an hour I found myself in Adrian's dream which probably was the best way not to waste my time while sleeping.

"What took you so long?"-he asked.

"You and your beautiful face"- I smiled and gave him a soft kiss.

"Well thank you!"- he gave me a longer kiss.

We stayed in the dream for some time and enjoyed ourselves.

It was time to get up. Adrian was starting his classes this week and he had to get up earlier. I made him pancakes for breakfast- his favorite.

"So what are you going to do today?"- he asked.

"Nothing interesting, I'll just hang out and get some stuff done."

"Ok. I'll try not to be too long. My last class ends at 5 pm so I should be home by 5:30."

"Ok."-that's all I said. All I could say. I couldn't lie to him that I would be waiting for him here when he comes home. All that would wait for him would be a note which wouldn't explain too much. I had a smile on my face and I was afraid to move it because I easily could start crying.

When it was time for Adrian to go I knew it was the last time I would see him. Before he left he took me in his arms and I didn't let him for 5 minutes. We were just standing there without saying a word.

"You do know I'm coming back , right?"-he asked when he realized for how long I didn't let him go.

"Yeah it's just that I'll miss you. That's all."-I said. I gave him the best kiss I could and let him go.

"Bye baby! I love you!"-he said just before the elevator door closed.

"I love you too."-I whispered and started crying. I was never going to see the love of my life. I was never going to feel love again.

I finally got to my room and started packing. I didn't want to leave anything that would remind him of me. I took all of the stuff from my shelves and the stuff I had left in his room. It was 3 pm and I was ready to go. The last thing I had to do was to write a note. I didn't want Adrian to have any hope of me coming back. I didn't want him to wait for me to come back from the store or something. I didn't want him to worry that I was kidnapped or lost. I started writing the letter. I didn't realize how hard it would be to tell him that I was leaving even if it was on paper.

_Dear Adrian,_

_I decided to leave you…_

I probably wrote about 20 letters but none of them was good enough.

_Dear Adrian,_

_Please don't blame yourself for what you're going to read next. It's all my fault and I am so sorry that I had to do this to you. I am leaving because it's the best. You and me can never be together. I tried to believe that our relationship was possible but I realized that I was lying to myself. What I felt for you was not real. I'm sorry to tell you just now that my feelings for you didn't mean anything. I did think that I was in love with you but I wasn't. I was in love with the idea of being in love. Please don't be sad. Just forget about me. Forget I existed and I promise I will stop existing. I can give you one promise and it's that you'll never see me again. Please don't miss me because _sometimes it's not the person you miss , it's the feeling you had when you were with them. I guess we both needed these feelings at one point but I can't continue having them because it's wrong. Don't look for me because it's pointless. You'll never find me whatever you do. I hope you get over me just as you did with Rose. Again I am so sorry that I did this to you.

Sydney

I was already crying. It was time for me to go. I called the elevator while I was looking for the last time at the place where I had the best moments of my life. I didn't know where I was going. All I knew was that I wasn't staying here.

The elevator door opened but there was somebody in it – Jill. Damn it I had forgotten Jill was coming today. Great so what am I suppose to do now.

"Sydney?"- I tried to wipe the tears from my face before she saw me.

"Hi. I almost forgot you were coming. I haven't prepared anything for you to eat and I haven't fixed your bed. Maybe you should come some other time."

"That's ok. I'll fix my bed myself and we can order something."

"Jill I really don't think that's a good idea."-she could see I was nervous. For a moment she looked behind me and saw the suitcases.

"What are these suitcases doing here? Are you going somewhere?"

"Jill you should really go, please."-I didn't want to tell her what was going on but it seemed like she would figure it out any second now.

"Are you leaving Adrian?"-I didn't say a word. "You can't do this to him! No! You're not leaving! What happened? Did you get in a fight? The last time I saw you together you didn't say anything about leaving."-she started panicking.

"Jill just let me go. I can't be with Adrian anymore."- that was all I was going to explain.

"Why? Why now? What changed your mind?"

I got in the elevator but Jill grabbed my hand and got me out of it.

"Jill let me go!"- I yelled.

"No, not until you explain why you're leaving him. Why are you doing this to him? You know very well how hard it was for him with Rose and if you leave now he will never open his heart for anybody again."

"Look Jill you don't get it. I'll hurt him much more if I stay so just let me go."-I got in the elevator again but this time Jill got in with me. I pushed the button and we started going down.

"Why? What will hurt him so much later that you leaving now will not hurt him as much?"

"I'll die Jill! OK? I have cancer and I'll die!"-the words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them. Jill didn't say a word. She just stood there with her mouth open. Tears started falling from her eyes.

The door opened and I saw the person I didn't want to see. The person I couldn't look at again and I was hoping I wouldn't have to. It was Adrian. What a luck?


	6. Chapter 6

**I would definitely recommend to listen to "In the end" by Linkin park.**

**I am sorry that it took me this long to write this chapter but here it is. I'll UD soon!**

**Thank you for the reviews and favs. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_The door opened and I saw the person I didn't want to see. The person I couldn't look at again and I was hoping I wouldn't have to. It was Adrian. What a luck?_

Chapter 6

He was smiling. At first he didn't realize that Jill was crying but then he looked at her and changed his happy face to a worried face.

"Hey Jill what's happened?"- she was still in shock from the news she just had received from me. I was so mad at myself for telling her. Jill stayed silent.

"She just got upset."- I answered. Of course this wouldn't be a better timing because he was looking at my suitcases..

"Jill I knew you were coming for the weekend but I didn't realize you were moving in."-he joked.

"That's not mine."- she said both mad and sad.

"Than who's is it? Are these yours?"-he looked at me

"Yes, Adrian they're mine."

"Why don't we go upstairs and talk about this."He pushed the button before I could say anything.

When we got upstairs he took my luggage and sat on the couch.

"So what's going on?"- I felt like he was my father who caught me sneaking out of the apartment at night.

"I am leaving…"

"You're what? Why? Did the alchemist suspect something about us?"

"No, Adrian I just don't think this relationship is good for us."

"Just like that. You didn't seem to think that way yesterday."

"Yesterday was goodbye. I am so sorry that I did this to you. I wish I could take back the time and not hurt you the way I do now but I can't but what I can do is leave."

"You're not leaving!"- he yelled but stayed on the couch looking at the wall.

"That's not up to you. I have decided this and you can't change my mind about it."

"You're not leaving!"-he continued saying the same words.

"Let her go Adrian."-Jill quietly said.

"What? What is going on? Why are you both against me? Did I do something wrong?"

"No you haven't done anything wrong. It's me who's wrong."- I mumbled.

"Well I guess you're not saying why you're leaving so let's ask Jill."-he turned his face towards Jill.

"She doesn't love you Adrian! How many times do you have to get hurt, for you to know it's time to let go?"

"You know she loves me! That's not true!"

"It's not Adrian! I thought I loved you but I don't. I'm sorry that I did this to you. I'm gonna go now."-the door was closing and Adrian started running to stop it but he didn't make it on time. I could see the tears streaming down his face just as mine. While I was going down I heard him kick and push the door but nothing happened.

So what was I supposed to do now. Go to the bar? Well it didn't sound like a bad idea. I wanted to forget about everything for even just a minute. I drove around town until I found a sign with the words "BAR". When I got in it was almost empty and I was very happy about that. I sat at the bar and looked at the bartender.

"Which one of your cocktails will get me drunk the fastest?"- he rolled his eyes. He had probably received that question all the time.

"The Killer but I'm not sure that this drink is for you."

"Believe me- it's exactly for me. Here's 200 bucks. Give me as many drinks as I want."-I gave him the 100 dollars and he started making the cocktail.

When I tried the cocktail I expected for it not to be really tasty because I wasn't much of a drinker but it was actually sweet. I could feel the alcohol but it tasted pretty good. After a few of these drinks I really couldn't remember my name. What was going on. It was as if I was flying. I can't say that I loved it but it was definitely much nicer than being sober. I looked at my glass and it was empty.

"One more!"

"I think that's enough for tonight."

"Did I go over my limit? Here's more."- I threw more money at him.

"No it's not that. I don't think your body can handle more alcohol."

"I said ONE MORE!"- I yelled. All the sudden I realized that the bar was full with people who were looking at me but I didn't care.

"Fine."

Now I honestly didn't even know I was in a bar although I was dancing with the people around me. All the sudden someone grabbed me and gave me my purse. It was the bartender."Come on let's take you home."

"I don't have one."-I honestly said. I really didn't have a home. I was homeless. At this point this seemed kind of funny.

He went through my purse and got out my notebook. I couldn't really see what he was looking at. I was too drunk to focus or to get mad he was taking things out of my bag. We went out and he got me in a car. He said to the driver : " Take her to this address ,don't make any stops and make sure she gets to the door."

"Sure Joe. See you later."-with that we drove away. I didn't care if he was going to take me to the woods and kill me. I was actually hoping he would do that.

"I'm Sydney! Do you want me to tell you about Adrian?"

"Well hello Sydney. I'm Tom. Who's Adrian?"

"The love of my life but we can't be together because I told him that I didn't love him to protect him but I do love him I just can't be with him and now I hurt him."

"That's pretty complicated."

"Oh yeah? Well than you'll love this one. I have cancer and I'm gonna die in less than 8 months."- I laughed.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be I deserve it. I wasted my whole life and now that I finally found the meaning to it it's over."

"Maybe it's not. You still have these 8 months with him."

"No I don't. I told him I didn't love him and even if I try to come back to him he will never forgive me ."

"He probably didn't believe you. You don't look like a good liar. Here we are."

"Where?"

"Let's take you to the door."-he helped me get up and got me to the door. He found the keys in my purse and started trying which one will work . I didn't know where we were and I didn't care.

He got me in the elevator and I automatically sat in the corner because I couldn't stand by myself. He pushed the button and got out.

"Bye Sydney. I hope you figure out what you're going to do."

"Bye. Thank you!"

"And Sydney- your time is limited so don't waste it…"

"I won't Tom. I promise! "-the door closed

"Your time is limited so don't waste it. Your time is limited so don't waste it. I love you Adrian. I don't want to leave you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."-I was crying. The door opened and I just kept mumbling about how much I loved Adrian and how I never wanted to leave him.

"Oh my God, Sydney!- I heard someone yelling. When she got next to me I realized it was Jill. "Adrian come fast!"-she looked really scared.

"Jill I can't live without Adrian…"-my words got lost in my tears.

"I know. I shouldn't have said you should go."

"Adrian"- I saw him behind Jill's shoulders.

"Adrian help me. She's drunk."

He got to me fast and picked me up. "I will NEVER LET YOU LEAVE ME AGAIN"-he whispered in my ear.

All I did was look at him while he was wiping out the tears from my face. I kissed him and just closed my eyes and let him take care of me.

**Adrian's POV after Sydney leaves**

I started kicking the stupid door. Jill grabbed my hands and tried to hug me but I didn't want her to touch me.

"Why did you do this to me? Is it because you don't like Sydney or is it because you just don't want me to be happy. You want to make me miserable because you're tired of seeing my happy side for more than an hour?"-a tear dropped from her eye. She stayed silent. "So now you don't have anything to say."- I yelled.

"I'm sorry Adrian but it's for the best"

"How can me being separated from the love of my life be for the best ?-I pushed her to the wall."If you don't tell me right now I'm going to kill myself."

"Please Adrian let me go. I can't tell you. And even if I could it wouldn't change anything."-I let her go and went to the kitchen and took a bottle of vodka. I drank half of it as if it was water and than took a knife."If you don't tell me I'm gonna stab myself with this knife."

"No , no , no , Adrian you can't."-I got the knife closer to my chest.

"Ok , ok , ok I'll tell you. Just please let down the knife first."-I didn't.

"First tell me and I promise I will after."

"Ok. Sydney lied to you. She's not ok. She is sick. All the throwing up and feeling tired was not nothing. She has cancer."

"She said she was fine."-I dropped the knife.

"She didn't want to hurt you. That's why she left. That's why she told you she didn't love you. She knew she would hurt you now but not as much as if you saw her dead."-she came to me and hugged me.

"I have to find her."- I took my phone and called Kyle.

"Kyle I need you to find Sydney. She must be somewhere around town. I want you to call me as soon as you find her."

"Ok boss."

For the rest of the evening I just sat around waiting for a call. Jill told me what happened when she arrived. I read the note Sydney had written me. What if I never saw her again. I didn't even want to think about that.

My phone rang and Jill looked at me with hope. She was sitting on the couch and was just waiting. I picked up the phone while I was going to my room ready to take my keys and wallet and go pick her up.

"Did you found her?"-I asked impatiently.

"We found her car Mr. Ivashkov. It's in front of a bar but she's not in it."

"Oh my God, Sydney! Adrian come fast!"- Jill was yelling and I threw my phone and ran to the living room. Sydney was in the corner of the elevator. I rushed and got to her.

"Adrian"-she was crying.

"Adrian help me. She's drunk."- Jill was panicking and with right. Sydney looked like someone had beaten her up with alcohol.

I picked her up. "I will NEVER LET YOU LEAVE ME AGAIN"-I whispered in her ear and she kissed me. Than she closed her eyes and I was happy that she could do that for now because later she wouldn't feel as good.


	7. Chapter 7

**I am sorry that I didn't update sooner but I was very busy. However here you go.**

**Thank you for the reviews and favs. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_I picked her up. "I will NEVER LET YOU LEAVE ME AGAIN"-I whispered in her ear and she kissed me. Than she closed her eyes and I was happy that she could do that for now because later she wouldn't feel as good._

Adrian's POV

Chapter 7

I took her to her bed and covered her with two blankets.

"Jill go to sleep. It's late. I'll take care of Sydney , don't worry."

"Are you sure because I don't mind helping you or at least stay here for company."

"Yeah I'm sure. We'll be fine here by ourselves plus I kind of need some alone time with her even if it's while she's sleeping or puking."

"Ok, I will be in my room if you need me. I'll be checking up on you."

"Fine mom."- I gave her one of my "thanks for being concerned but I'll be fine" looks that I had.

Not long after that Sydney woke up.

"I'm gonna throw up."-she got out of the bed and almost didn't make it to the bathroom. I ran behind her and held her hair while she puked her brains out.

"I am never ever drinking again."

"Let's get you to bed."

"No , can I stay here. I don't think I'll make it to the bathroom the next time."-she mumbled.

"Sure."-I sat on the floor and took her in my arms. She fell asleep , after that she woke up and fell asleep again. I gave her a glass of water to make sure she didn't dehydrate. Every half an hour I woke her up to make sure she was ok and she didn't like it but it made me much more calm.

In the early morning she didn't have anything to throw up anymore and we were both very tired. I took her to her bed and got in with her. We both fell asleep and I didn't wake up until Jill came in the room. She had tried not to make any noise while peeking from the door but I was still on edge and was ready to open my eyes on the quietest noise. Thankfully Sydney didn't wake up.

"Sorry."-she whispered."It's just that you had closed your eyes and I couldn't see what was going on."

"It's ok. I know that you were worried."-she nodded."Why don't you stay with Sydney while I make some breakfast all though I doubt that she would want to even touch food again.

"Sure , I'll stay with her."

I got out of the room and went in the kitchen. I made some pancakes. While I was making the last ones I felt my face was wet. Was it leaking from somewhere. Yes , and that place were my eyes. I was so caught up in my own thoughts about what I was going to do to help Sydney that I didn't realize I was crying. I wiped the tears from my face and continued making the breakfast. I was supposed to be the strong one right now. Sydney needed me. I wasn't allowed to get upset. When I was ready I went to her bedroom and opened the door. Sydney wasn't still awake but the moment I got in the room she opened her eyes.

"What am I doing here? What happened last night?"

"Well you came here really drunk, passed out in my hands, threw up all night and I think that's about it."-I explained."How are you feeling?"

"Not so good. I have to go."-she got up but I pushed her back before she could say anything.

"You're not going anywhere."

"You don't understand. I can't stay."

"I understand very well Sydney. I know why you left and I am not letting you leave again."

"You told him?"-she looked at Jill.

"He had a knife pointed to his body. What was I supposed to do?"

"You tried to kill yourself over me?"- she looked kind of surprised.

"Yes and I am going to do it again if you leave but this time I will be successful."

"Adrian I am going to die and I don't want you to see me sick and ugly."

"First of all I don't care how you look. You're always beautiful to me. Second of all you're not going to die!"

"And how is that supposed to happen?"-she asked very sure that I didn't have the answer.

"I am going to heal you."

"No! I am not going to use you for your powers for the rest of your life. That is out of question."

"Why? I don't mind being used for my powers."

"And what if one day you wake up and realize you don't want to be with me anymore. What are you going to do then? I know you Adrian you wouldn't leave me just because you would feel like you're killing me and I am not doing this to you!

"There won't be a day in my whole entire life that I will wake up without thinking how much I love you."

"You don't know that. Now you are in love with me but you can't be sure that you're going to be in love with me forever. So, no you are not healing me and that's the end of the conversation."

"No it's not. If you don't allow ME to heal you than we're going to a specialist and we're going to beat this thing."

"We can't beat it , Adrian! Don't you get it?"

"No Sydney , you don't get it. I can't live without you and I am not going to!"

"Why don't we think about it a little bit. We can all meet up at Clarence's and decide what we're gonna do."-Jill tried to calm us down.

"That's not fair. This is my choice. I decide what to do with my life."

"No , it would be your choice if we didn't care about you. But since we do it's our choice too because if you die we are the ones who are going to suffer."-she didn't say anything. I don't think she had thought about that. About how sad we would be if we didn't have her in our lives , about what she would leave behind her if she died.

After our conversation Jill helped Sydney dress up and we all had breakfast. She ate a half of pancake but I didn't want to push her to eat more. Throughout the whole meal the only sounds that you could hear were from our forks.

After that I called Dimitri and Eddie and asked them to meet us at Clarence's. They both said they would be there with Sonya and Amy. When we got there everybody had already arrived. Sydney still didn't feel very well and she immediately sat on the couch next to Eddie. Jill followed her and sat on the other side of Eddie.

"So thanks to everybody you came."- I guess I was going to be the one to tell them the bad news. "We have some bad news."

"What kind of bad news?"-Sonya asked concerned.

"Well I'm just gonna cut to the case. Sydney is sick."

"Sick? What's wrong Sydney?"-Eddie looked at her.

"She has cancer."- I continued.

"What? But I thought that the alchemists couldn't get sick."

"Well we thought that too but I guess there's a very little chance to get sick – it's like 1 in a million and Sydney is that special ONE."

"Sydney I am so sorry. But don't worry we're going to help you beat it. We can heal you."-Sonya said with a shaking voice.

"You're not doing that. I don't want you to help me. I am not letting you touch me."-she didn't have an expression on her face. It was almost like her mind wasn't here.

"Look Sydney I know that you are afraid of our magic but it's your only choice so I think it's worth it."

"It's not just that Sonya. I am not using you for your powers and that's it."

With that our conversation ended. After that me, Sonya and Jill went in the other room to feed. Jill went first and while me and Sonya were waiting I could see in her eyes she already had a plan.

"Adrian I think I may have a plan how to save Sydney."

"How?"

"Well I've read so much about the spirit already and while I was searching for new information I read this story about a boy who had cancer also and got healed forever but there were three people who participated in his healing. Of course I don't know if this is true."

"It's worth the try. I will call Lissa tomorrow and ask her to come down here."

"I think you should talk to Sydney first because she doesn't look like she would agree with this."

"Oh believe me she will. I don't care if we have to do it against her will."

When it was time to go home I proposed Eddie , Jill and Amy to stay with us since they had a 10 day vacation but Amy had already made plans to stay with Sonya and Dimitri and get some fighting lessons from Dimitri. Jill and Eddie decided to come with us and I was happy about that because if I had to leave the house even for a second Sydney wouldn't be alone. When we got in the apartment we decided to watch a movie and probably on the 2-nd minute of it Sydney tried to get in my arms but the moment she did I got up.

"Does anybody want some popcorn?"

"I want some."-Jill quickly turned and then got back to watching the movie.

"Anybody else?"-I asked.

"No."-Eddie answered while Sydney was looking at me with kind of a mad look and that was exactly what I wanted her to do. She wasn't getting any physical contact from me until she let me heal her.

When I was ready with the popcorn I sat as far as possible from her. She definitely didn't like it but didn't say anything. Of course I had to look at another romantic story which wasn't on the screen. Jill was in Eddies arms and he was holding her very tight.

When the movie was over I was very glad that it had and I could finally take Sydney to bed. I was so tired. Other two people who would sleep in the same bedroom were Jill and Eddie.

"Why do you have to sleep in the same room? We have like 5 other bedrooms."

"Well I am scared. I don't want to stay alone and I would feel much better if I have Eddie with me."-we both knew that wasn't the reason she wanted him in the room but I couldn't say anything against that argument.

"Fine but Eddie will be sleeping on the couch."-just as I was going to sleep on the couch in Sydney's room unfortunately.

"Of course."-I could see the smile on her face.

I took a shower in my bathroom and I showed up in her room shirtless. I wanted to make our separation as short as possible. When I got in her room I was surprised by the way she was dressed. I guess she knew what I was trying to do. She had a very tight and short nightgown on. I could see in her eyes that she wasn't so happy about my clothing either.

"So I feel much better now. We don't have to go to sleep immediately."

"I am very tired. I think I'm gonna go to sleep."

"Fine. But would you pass me that blanket first or you can stay in my bed and warm me"-she pointed at one of the chairs.

"Sure, I'll pass you the blanket"- I took it and passed it to her. The moment I got closer to her she tried to kiss me but I moved fast and she didn't even have the chance to touch my skin.

"You're not getting even a kiss on the cheek until you allow me to heal you."

"I spoke to Sonya. She told me about your plan. She also said that it may take a lot of magic. Don't you remember what happened to Lissa. She was full with darkness which she gave to Rose. You told me that. I am not doing that to any of you."

"Then all I can say is goodnight"

"Fine. Goodnight!"-she was so pissed but still didn't give up.


	8. Chapter 8

**I am so sorry for being late but again I am very busy and I am trying my best. Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Thank you for the reviews and favs. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

"_Then all I can say is goodnight"_

"_Fine. Goodnight!"-she was so pissed but still didn't give up._

Chapter 8

Sydney's POV

I tried to fall asleep but not having Adrian in the bed made it very hard. It was 3 am and I was still awake. I had so many thoughts in my head that I couldn't focus on even one of them. Before Adrian mentioned the healing I hadn't even thought about it but there was no need because I wasn't going to let him destroy himself over trying to save me. Of course there was always Sonya's plan which at first didn't seem that bad. Since I got to know Adrian I realized there was no reason to be afraid of the magic but when Sonya explained to me how much power the three of them needed to use in order to save me I didn't think twice. If something happened to Adrian or to anybody else who participated in the healing I would never forgive myself. Stop thinking about this Sydney! Give yourself a rest. I got out of my bed and walked towards the couch where Adrian was sleeping. I tried to get under the covers next to him but he moved and pressed his lips against mine. The moment he did he backed away realizing he wasn't supposed to even touch me according to his plan. But even that split second lasting kiss made me feel much better.

"What are you doing ,Sydney?"

"You're supposed to be sleeping in your bed, remember?" – he wasn't mad or anything. I could definitely tell that he didn't like being separated from me.

"I can't go to sleep without you. Please Adrian, just come sleep in my bed. I promise I won't touch you."-I could see he was thinking about it.

"Fine, but just because this couch is very uncomfortable ."- I smiled and jumped back in my bed. He took his pillow and got in next to me.

"Goodnight Sage!"

"I like it when you call me Sage!"-he hadn't called me "Sage" since he found out I had cancer. He called me Sydney only when he was serious or not in the mood.

"Well than I meant : Goodnight Sydney!"

"Oh come on Adrian. You have to be kidding me. Why are you making my life more miserable than it already is."

"I'm not- you are. When you agree to be healed everything will be back as usual."

"You're not fair!"-I almost yelled but I realized Jill and Eddie were in the other room.

"Oh, so I'm not fair. You want to leave me , you are not letting me save you, you are taking away our love just after we found it and I'm not fair?"-I stayed silent. He was right. I was taking away everything from him. "Go to sleep Sydney. We'll talk about it tomorrow."-now he was angry.

Of course I didn't, I couldn't go to sleep , not after our conversation. It was already 6 am and I was still awake. Adrian started moving around the bed and he ended up wrapping one of his hands around me. He was still sleeping and I was very thankful for that. I was finally calm and I don't know if it was from the hug or just because I was too tired I fell asleep. I didn't expect to find myself in Adrian's dream but I did. We were at our usual place- the beach.

"Gosh Sage every time you are more and more late. Good thing I wrapped my hands around you so that you could get some sleep."

"You did that on purpose?"

"I am trying to make you agree to let me save you , not the opposite. You must be very tired especially after yesterday."

"I am but that doesn't stop me from staying awake."

"I'm gonna let you sleep now."

"No, please. Don't leave me."

"I am not leaving you, Sydney. I am right next to you."-with that the dream came to it's end.

I was happy to find out I didn't wake up. For the rest of my sleep I didn't dream.

When I finally woke up I felt like I had slept for two days but it still wasn't enough. Thankfully Adrian was still next to me. He wasn't holding me anymore but him being in the bed was enough. He was already awake and was staring at me.

"What?"-I asked with a smile.

"Nothing. You're so beautiful…"-he was smiling too.

"When we get up I'll call at the doctor's office and I'm gonna arrange an appointment. I'll let them treat me, I'll go to chemotherapy, I'll do whatever just please don't make me feel alone ever again."-he got even a bigger smile on his face. He jumped ,took me in his hands and started throwing me in the air.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!"-I could see he was excited.

After he stopped throwing me around he gave me the most passionate kiss anyone could ever give anybody.

"Thank you for not giving up! I love you so much!"

"Thank YOU for not giving up. If it wasn't for you I was gonna give up."

We made out for what seemed like an eternity.

"By the way what time is it?"-I asked confused trying to catch a breath.

"It's about 1 pm."

"Maybe we should get up. After all Jill and Eddie are here."- not that I wanted to get up but it was really rude of us to make them wait for us all day.

"I think there's something going on between both of them."

"And you found that just now?"

"You knew?"

"Of course. They're always all over each other. You just didn't want to see it by now."

"And you think it's ok?"

"I don't think we have the right to judge them. I mean look at us. Plus I think they are perfect for each other. Eddie really understands Sydney."

"I guess you're right. It's just that she's like my little sister and I don't want her to get hurt."

"She won't , believe me."

"So I guess it's time to get up."-he wasn't very happy about it.

"Yeah , maybe we can stay in bed for just a few more minutes."-I smiled and gave him a tender kiss.

Of course that few minutes turned into an hour and when we finally got up we still had hard time dressing up. When we finally got out of the room we went straight into the kitchen where we found Jill and Eddie kissing. When they realized we were coming they moved away from each other but they weren't fast enough.

"Hey guys! What's up?"-I gave them a devilish smile while making some coffee.

"We can ask you the same question."-Jill gave me the same nasty smile.

"Fair enough."

Adrian wasn't so happy about that but didn't say a thing.

"So maybe we can stay in today and play some games or whatever."

"Sure! That would be great."-Jill agreed with me.

I warmed some blood for Adrian. I knew he didn't like it when he had to drink it from a glass but I tried to make it as close as I could to real feeding.

"A little beardy told me you agreed to treat."-Jill said with a smile on her face.

"I hate those birds."-I joked. "Yeah it's for the best."-for a moment I looked at the clock and realized something."Adrian aren't you supposed to be having classes right now."

"I quit."-he said it like it was something very normal.

"What? Why?"

"No reason. I just don't feel like going."

"You're going."

"No I'm not. I don't like it. Plus I won't waste the little time I have left with you to go to some stupid classes."-now he was just trying to make me feel guilty and get me to agree to let him heal me.

"We'll talk about it later."

"Fine but you have to know I have already decided."

"That's not fair!"

"Let's not talk about what's fair."

"I agreed to go to the doctor."

"But we both know that chemotherapy will give you only few months or even less."

"Guys can we pretend for a second that everything's normal?"-it was Jill. She probably could feel Adrian's feelings and that he needed to end the conversation.

"Sure. I'm sorry."

"I'll be right back."-Adrian got up and got out on the balcony. I followed him. He sat on one of the chairs outside and took out a packet of cigarettes.

"I thought you quit."

"I did."-he started smoking."Sydney I know it's scary for you to be healed by magic but it's the only way for you to stay alive. I don't want to lose you, I can't lose you."

"I am not afraid of the magic. I am afraid that while you are trying not to lose me I may lose you. What if something goes wrong? What if you're not strong enough and something happens to you or to anyone else who participates in the healing for that matter? I will never forgive myself."

"It won't. I promise. Nothing's gonna happen to me. I won't leave you."

"You don't know that. Let's get inside. It's way too hot for you to be outside today."-he nodded but I could see he wasn't giving up.

"So which game are we going to play first."

"Actually guys me and Eddie are very tired and we are gonna go take a nap for let's say two hours. Is that ok with you?"-Jill yawned but I could definitely tell it was fake.

"Sure. Actually we really need a nap too."

Of course I had different plans. When we finally entered the bedroom I immediately started unbuttoning Adrian's shirt. He threw me on the bed and took off my shirt. First he started kissing me very passionately. Then he moved to my neck while I was trying to take his pants off as fast as possible. For a moment he stopped kissing me and moved away.

"Wait , what are you doing?"-I asked confused.

"We're not having sex."

"What? Why?"

"Because I may have given up on not touching you but I haven't given up on not having sex with you. We're not having any sex until you let me heal you."

"Fine, I didn't feel like it anyway."-I tried to sound like I didn't care.

"Hey I'm not very happy with the situation either but if that's the only way to convince you you're supposed to live then so be it."

I got up, took my phone and got out of the room. I needed some time alone plus I had promised Adrian to call the doctor and I was going to do it. He did keep his promise. He touched me and kissed me and slept in the same bed with me. I owned him this. I dialed the number and almost immediately someone picked up.

"Doctor Carter's office, how may I help you?"

"Hello it's one of Doctor Carter's patients. My name is Sydney Sage."-I heard her typing my name.

"Yes, miss Sage. What can I do for you?"

"I would like to make an appointment."

"Doctor Carter is available tomorrow at 11 am."

"That's perfect. Thank you! Have a nice day!"

"You too!"

I felt Adrian's arm. He took me in his arms and I could definitely tell he was feeling guilty for not being able to give me what I wanted.

"When is the appointment?"

"Tomorrow at 11 am."

"We're gonna go through this together. I promise."

"That's what worries me."

Jill and Eddie interrupted our conversation and I was happy about it.

"So tomorrow we're going to an appointment."-Jill stated.

"You don't need to come."

"We are coming. We won't miss it for the world."

"Thank you for being so supportive."-I hugged her and felt I was gonna cry any second now but I tried to hold my tears.

"Of course, you're like a sister to me Sydney."

"So are we playing or what?"-Adrian smiled.

"Yes! Let's start with "Scrabble"?"-I suggested.

"You all know that I'm terrible at "Scrabble" and that's why you always want to play it."-Jill laughed.

I looked at them. They were my family now. I was so lucky to have them.

We started playing "Scrabble" and Jill and Eddie had already put their words on the board. Jill had put "you" and Eddie had put "would". They both really sucked at this game.

"Adrian, it's your turn."-I looked at him and he had the most gorgeous smile on his face. He didn't let me look while he was putting his word on the board. Finally when he was ready I looked and I found out we weren't playing a game. He had written WOULD YOU MARRY ME? Before I realized he was already on one knee.


	9. Chapter 9

**I am late again but I worked very hard on this chapter and I needed more time to write it. I hope you like it! Please review!**

**Thank you for the reviews and favs. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_Finally when he was ready I looked and I found out we weren't playing a game. He had written WOULD YOU MARRY ME? Before I realized he was already on one knee._

Chapter 9

"For my whole life I've been very sure I didn't want to get married. I guess that wasn't the best way to start…"-he was nervous. "For the last few weeks you made me change my mind completely not just about marriage but about life and love. I used to believe that love was not possible, that it was just something that was going to hurt me but you proved me that love is real and it's a very beautiful, pure feeling. I can't imagine the world without you, without you next to me. So I wanted to ask you… Would you marry me Sydney Sage?"- it felt like a dream, a very nice dream but it wasn't. I could feel it.

"I…"-I didn't know what to say. Why would he ask something like that from me? He knew I was dying . Did he want to be a widower? "I need to think about it."-he didn't expect this answer. His face went from happy to surprised ,to sad and then to confused.

"What is there to think about?"

"A lot."-I gave him a short answer.

"Like what?"- he wasn't nervous anymore but I knew I was doing something worse to him – I was hurting him.

"Like the fact that I am supposed to die in less than eight months."

"You're not! We are going to save you!"-he was sure of it.

"We already talked about this."

"We won't stop talking about this until you agree that you should be healed."

"Look , Adrian, I am not saying "no" just "not now"."

"Then when? Damn it Sydney , you are not letting me save you and you don't want to marry me, "not now". So what am I supposed to do?"

"I am sorry but I don't want to leave you as a widower in your 20's."-he got up, threw the ring and went on the balcony.

"Don't follow me!"-he yelled. He knew I wanted to do it.

I decided to leave him on his own for a while. I didn't move. I just started crying and then for the first time since the fake "Scrabble" game I realized we weren't alone. Jill and Eddie were in the room too. Jill took me in her arms and started comforting me.

"He will never forgive me."

"He doesn't have anything to forgive you for. He knows you are just trying to protect him but it's hard on him – not being able to help you, to save you."

"I know but I don't want to risk his life over mine."-I mumbled between the tears.

"But he wants to do it , Sydney . And you know deep inside that he will find a way to die if you die. And he'll be right. I can feel what he feels and if you dye, he will literally disappear. I know that's hard to hear but it's the true."

"So what am I supposed to do if something goes wrong?"

"You just have to take that risk. You don't have other choice."

With that our conversation ended. Jill stayed with me for a little while and then went out to talk to Adrian and calm him down. I was thankful that she did it.

Eventually they both went inside but Adrian didn't even look at me. He just passed through the kitchen and went in his room. Of course the moment he did that I followed him and knocked on his door. When I didn't hear a voice from the other side I tried to open the door but it was locked.

"Adrian , let me in!"-I yelled and continued knocking on the door.

"I think you should give him some time."-Jill grabbed my hand.

"I guess you're right."-I went in my room and locked it just like Adrian did. I got under the covers of my bed and started crying again. I cried for hours and hours, I cried all night. There was a few knocks from Jill and Eddie trying to get me to eat something but I didn't want to eat, all I wanted was to have Adrian forever. It was totally true- people always wanted what they couldn't have.

It was starting to get light and I was out of tears. I fell asleep escaping in the world of dreams, the world where everything was possible. I wasn't drawn into Adrian's dream but it was probably for the best because for a moment I forgot there was something wrong.

A very loud noise woke me up. Someone had just broken my door. I also felt someone jumping on my bed. A hand was checking my pulse. They were probably checking if I was alive.

"Sydney are you alright?"-it was Jill.

"Yeah , what happened?"

"We knocked on the door for like a half an hour but you didn't answer and Adrian broke it."-I sat in the bed and saw Adrian standing in the doorway. When he saw I was fine , he moved away to the kitchen.

"He is still mad at me."

"We both know that he can't be mad at you for too long but yes he is still a little upset."

"I'm not coming to breakfast. I am really tired. I'm just gonna stay in my room for the day"

"Oh , no you're not. You have a doctor's appointment today. Did you forget?"

"I'm not going."

"Nobody is asking you. You have no choice. We are all going including Adrian."-she knew that would make me go. I dressed up and had a small breakfast with Eddie. After I was ready we all got in the car and drove to Doctor Carter's office. She took us in the moment we arrived.

"Hello Sydney! I am happy that you brought other people with you."-Eddie and Jill introduced themselves to her and after we all sat down.

"I changed my mind. I want to be treated."

"I am very glad that you did change your mind. First we're going to start with chemotherapy. Do you want me to explain what chemotherapy exactly is? "

"No , I've read about it. I pretty much know what it is."

"There are side effects of the chemotherapy as feeling very weak and tired. Chemotherapy can lead to hair loss. Also nausea and vomiting, poor appetite."

"You don't need to tell me this stuff. I already know them."

"But we don't."-it was the first time I heard Adrian's voice since the proposal. Doctor Carter explained everything there was to know about chemotherapy to the three of them. When we were done she made some more tests on me and scheduled chemotherapy session.

"So you are gonna go to chemotherapy every week. Every session is probably going to take between 4 ½ - 5 hours. Another thing I wanted to talk to you about is a patient of mine. She had the same misfortune as you and she moved here just so that she can be treated with you. You can both give each other support but I have to warn you- she is much worse than you are. She is not going to live too much longer."

"I'm gonna think about it. Can we go now?"

"Yes , of course. So I'll see you next week."

"Yup, see you next week."

On our way back home the conversation was exactly the same as it was on the way to the doctor's office- nonexistent. When we arrived there were still no words. I ran back in my room but this time I couldn't lock the door since it was broken. I lay on my bed and tried to fall asleep but the two hours of sleep had given me plenty of energy. I still had that feeling of being tired and being sick. After a half an hour I couldn't help it anymore and ran to the bathroom. I started throwing up and immediately regretted my breakfast. I heard someone walking in my bathroom and holding my hair back while I was throwing up. I didn't have time to see who it was but when I finally stopped throwing away my food I laid back in the person's arms and I recognized a man's body- it was probably Eddie. I looked at the face of the person who was holding me and I was surprised to see Adrian. I couldn't believe it. Even when he was mad at me and was hurt by me he couldn't leave me suffer.

He gave me a glass of water and I brushed my teeth after. I tried to get up to get to my bed but I didn't have enough strength to get up. Adrian saw that and he picked me up. He took me to my bed and got me under the covers. After he was sure that I was comfortable he made his way to the door but before he got out of the room I stopped him.

"Yes!"-he turned and looked at me.

"Yes what?"-he finally spoke to me and his voice was so beautiful.

"Yes, I will marry you! If marrying me makes you happy than that's what we're going to do. And don't get me wrong – I do want to marry you I just really don't want to hurt you but it seems like I am hurting you so much more saying "no" so "yes", I'll marry you."-he smiled and quickly got in the bed with me. He kissed me passionately for a few moments and just enjoyed looking at me. "You're so easy, I'll probably get sex soon!- I joked.

"That's because I can't be mad at you."-he smiled and gave me another tender kiss.

"So when are we gonna get married?"

"As soon as possible. I also wanted to ask you something else."

"Yeah?"

"Do you want your parents to be here? Because if you do that's fine with me."

"I don't think that's such a good idea since they don't even know about you."

"I know , I just don't want you to be sad that your mother is missing your wedding."

"It's ok. After all your mother will be missing the wedding too."

"Yeah, I don't think my father will be coming too."

"Why?"

"Because he'll ruin it and I don't want him to be here."-he got mad even just thinking of his father.

"Well I guess we will be having 'no parents' wedding."

"Looks like it."

"So where do you think we should make our wedding."

"Our wedding, I like it when you say that."-he kissed me.

"Our wedding where I'll be the bride and you'll be the groom."-he laughed and kissed me again but this time more passionately.

After a lot of making out I had forgotten what we were talking about but all the sudden he stopped kissing me and looked at me.

"Why don't we do it on the beach?"

"That would be great but I don't think that's the best idea for our guests."

"Well we can make it when it starts getting dark."

"As long as you're ok with it- I'm ok with it."

"That would be so romantic."-we both heard Jill's voice and laughed. I guess she had heard our conversation or maybe even seen it. "Don't worry , I'm leaving you alone. You can do whatever you want to do."

"So now that we know that Jill approves of us 'doing stuff' what do you say?"

"No."-he laughed.

"But it will make me feel so much better."

"I actually have an idea."

"Idea about what?"

"How to make you feel better."

"How?"-I was curious.

"Just don't freak out."

"Ok."

"If you let me drink from you maybe you'll feel better."-was he crazy?

"What?"-I didn't expect these words to come out of his mouth.

"I know it sounds crazy but believe me it will make you feel better."

"No way."

"I'm sorry that I have to bring this memory back but you have been bitten already and you know it feels pretty good."

"Look Adrian, I am ok with magic but I am still trying to get used to the fact that you feed with blood and I don't think that you drinking from me will help at all."

"I won't push you , just know that my offer still stands."

"You do realize that my blood may not taste good – I mean it didn't to the strigoi. Plus you can get cancer form drinking my blood."

"I can't."

"What do you mean? Of course you can."

"You do realize that I have the ability to heal people and I have it in my blood. I can't get cancer and I can't be killed very easily but I hope that I wouldn't have to think about that."

"Of course you wouldn't!"

It was like he was planning it. I was nauseas and I really needed to throw up. Of course I did and I kept feeling very weak and tired. How did this happen twice today and didn't happen even once for the past two days - just my luck. When he got me to the bed he put me under the covers and tried to help me fall asleep.

"Bite me…"-I was dying in less than 8 months. I didn't have anything to lose after all.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys! So I finally got to chapter 10! I am very happy that I shared my story with you. Don't get me wrong. The story isn't over it's just that 10 chapters was a milestone for me.**

**About this chapter- I am sorry that it is so dark and that I keep torturing Sydney but I just can't help it. Anyways I hope you like it and I promise the next chapters will be much brighter and happier. Be sure to review. I love reading what you thought about the chapter and I have to say it definitely motivates me.**

**Thank you for the reviews and favs. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

"_Bite me…"-I was dying in less than 8 months. I didn't have anything to lose after all._

Chapter 10

"Sage you don't need to do this. I'm sorry I pushed you."

"I know you wouldn't hurt me plus you are right- it will make me feel better."

"Maybe you should sleep on it, make sure that's really what you want me to do. I don't want you to be sorry about this in the morning."-he was as nervous about this as I was.

"I trust you and I know I won't be regretting it. But right now I need you to do it because I don't feel very well."

"Ok but I want you to know I'll stop the moment you want me to. Don't be afraid to tell me to stop."

"Believe me , I know."

I removed my hair from my neck and waited to feel his teeth on my neck. He got very close to my neck and my pulse started racing. I felt his lips kissing me and then I felt his teeth piercing my skin. It was painful but I forgot about the pain in less than a second. The endorphins flooded into my blood and I could definitely say this was almost as good as sex. The experience was totally different from the one I had had with the strigoi. I did get the same feeling as the first time I had been bitten but this time was so much better. I was with Adrian and it wasn't against my will, it was with the man I loved. He took me in his arms and continued drinking from me. I hadn't gotten high before but I bet this was so much better. All the sudden he moved away from my neck and looked at my worriedly. I wasn't happy about that but I was so wasted that I couldn't even ask for more. I bet he could see it in my eyes all though I don't know if I was showing anything with them. I totally didn't know what I was doing.

"Syd , are you ok?"

"Mhm…"-I mumbled. That's all I could say.

I had forgotten all my problems. Even now I couldn't think of the reason I had told Adrian to bite me but I was so happy I did.

"Do you want some more because I'm all for it."-I didn't know if he could understand the words I was saying.

"I think that's enough… for a while."-he laughed. He laid me on the bed and I rested my head on his chest.

I couldn't measure the time but it felt like the next second he got out of the bed.

"I'm gonna go make you something to eat."

"You don't need…"-he didn't let me finish.

"Oh believe me – you do." –he got out of the room.

If I wasn't totally ok with this before now it was my second best thing to do. The first was being with Adrian. So this combined my two favorite things.

I really wanted to get some fresh air so I tried to get up. It took me awhile but the more I was moving the more I felt how much energy I actually had.

Adrian's POV

I made Sydney some toasts and went back in her room. I shouldn't have drunk from her so much. It's just that with her I always lost track of time and her blood was so sweet. I had done this before once with Rose but doing it with Sydney was so much better. I opened the door and the bed was empty. The place I immediately checked was the bathroom but she wasn't there. Then I turned and got back in the room and realized the balcony door was open. I ran outside and saw Sydney walking on the edge of the balcony.

"What the hell are you doing?"-I yelled and I immediately realized I shouldn't have done that because she was on the edge of a balcony and she could very easily fall just from being yelled at. She lost her balance for a second but didn't fall. My heart skipped a beat or a few. "Sydney , please come down."- I asked her very calmly although right now I was everything but calm.

"It's ok. I won't fall. And if I do you'll catch me, you always catch me."

"Syd please honey just let me take you down."

For a moment she stayed silent and then leaned on the outer side of the balcony. I ran and caught her right before she would've fallen. We both fell on the floor and she started crying.

"Why did you do that?"-she yelled. She tried to get out of my arms but I didn't let her. "I was going to be with my Adrian forever there.

"You still are going to be."-I tried to assure her and I think she kind of realized she wasn't herself.

"Oh my god are you ok?"-it was Jill and Eddie.

"How did you…"

"You're emotions were on the edge when she almost jumped. They woke me up."-she explained. "Oh my god Sydney what did you do?"-Sydney didn't say a word. She was just staring at the ground."Why was she out here? Why did she try to jump?"-she saw the answer for herself. She saw the mark on her neck."You drank from her? Adrian do you know how dangerous this is in her condition? And not only for her, you can get cancer just from drinking a drop of her blood."-I immediately gave her the answer in my head and let her see it. "Fine, but I still think it was stupid of you."

"I know but she was feeling sick and tired and I wanted to help her."-she saw that I was sorry for doing it and immediately regretted she yelled at me.

"Let's get her inside."-Jill said.

"I'll take her."-Eddie took her from my hands and got her inside her room. When I got inside she was already asleep and Jill was lying next to her. I decided to make some good for a difference and started taking from her room everything she could kill herself with. I didn't know if she tried to kill herself because of how high she was or if she had actually tried to kill herself and not just thought she could really fly. Anyway I wasn't taking a risk again.

Sydney's POV

I woke up and looked around. I was surprised to find Jill sleeping next to me and Adrian on the couch. Jill immediately woke up the moment I moved.

"Sydney, you're awake."

"Hi, Jill! Sorry for the question but why are you next to me on the bed and why is Adrian on the couch?"

"You don't remember?"-I actually remembered the whole accident.

"Oh believe me, I do."

"Are you sure? Do you remember the part where you almost jumped from the balcony?"

"I actually do and I wasn't trying to jump. I was trying to get down."

"Really?"-I could feel the doubt in her voice.

"Yes, I was up there because for a moment I really thought I was very near to the ground and nothing could happen to me but then I realized I was much higher than I had thought and tried to get down but I slipped and thank god Adrian caught me."

"So you're not mad at Adrian?"-she asked surprised.

"Why would I be mad? I made him drink from me. He didn't do it against my will."

"I know he didn't do it against your will but still."

"Really Jill , it was totally my fault."-I looked around and realized something was wrong."By the way what happened to my room?"

"Adrian felt very guilty and was very worried that you would try to kill yourself the moment you woke up so he took all the things you could kill yourself with he could find."

"And he thought I could kill myself with my alarm- clock?"

"Yeah that was kind of extreme. It's just that he was really worried and I was kind of hard on him."

"Please don't be."

"I won't, I realized I didn't have the right to blame him."

"By the way Jill I wanted to ask you something."-I tried to change the subject. I didn't really want to talk about last night because I really didn't try to kill myself.

"Shoot."

"Would you be my maid of honor?"

"Me?"

"Yeah you, who else? If it wasn't for you I wouldn't be here with Adrian right now."

"I guess you are right."-we laughed. Adrian moved but didn't wake up. We both looked at him. "He didn't sleep all night."

"So what do you say? Would you be my maid of honor?"-I asked again taking away her mind off of her guilt.

"Yes, of course! We are going to organize you two the most beautiful wedding in the world."-she screamed a little bit and this time Adrian woke up. He got up very quickly when he realized I had woken up.

"Hi!"-I said awkwardly.

"I am so sorry."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for. Really I wasn't myself for a moment."

"It was all my fault."-I explained to him what happened and I think he forgave himself or at least didn't feel as guilty as before.

We chilled for the rest of the day and decided on the guest list. The wedding was going to be small since we wanted for it to be intimate plus we didn't really know so many people.

I called Dimitri, Sonya and Amy and invited them over for dinner. Me and Jill made some lasagna while Eddie and Adrian set up the table. I heard the bell and went to open the door. They had climbed the stairs. I guess everything was a practice for dampires.

"Hey guys come on in."-I hugged them all and let them get in.

When we were ready we all sat down and started eating.

"So me and Adrian have some news."-I announced.

"Oh yeah? I hope this time they're good."-Sonya said with a smile.

"They are. We decided to get married."

"What? Congratulations!"-Sonya jumped from her seat and hugged me very tight. Dimitri also got up and gave a friendly hug to me and more importantly to Adrian. I was so happy that Adrian didn't have bad feelings for Dimitri anymore. "So what's the date of the wedding?"

"We don't know yet. We just know that it will be soon. Actually it really depends on when Lissa and Rose will be available.

"Actually yesterday I talked to Rose and she told me they were going to visit us next month."-Dimitri said.

"That's perfect."-I guess I was going to become Mrs. Ivashkov next month.

"So how is your research going?"-Adrian asked.

"Well we actually stopped it for a while. Right now we are trying to find as much information as possible for the healing which is kind of part of the spirit so I guess we haven' t exactly stopped working on it. We are just taking a different direction and we found some helpful information."

"Oh yeah? What did you find?"-he asked curiously.

"Well I read that not only do we need three moroi that control the spirit but also one of them is supposed to lead the whole process, you know like pushing in the right direction but that person will be using more energy than the others and it may be dangerous."

"I'll do it."-Adrian immediately responded. I didn't even want to argue with him and didn't say anything.

"The good thing I found about this ritual is that we can fill objects with our power which can protect you about 90% so it will be pretty safe."

Jill realized I was uncomfortable with this conversation and changed the subject."So we were thinking beach wedding. Sonya is that ok with you all though it probably won't be earlier than 5 pm but still it can be pretty hot."

"Oh sure that's fine with me. I'm used to the high temperatures so it won't be a problem. Oh, Sydney you are starting chemotherapy next week ,right?"

"Yes , I am."

"If you want me I can come with you. I mean I am sure that the others will want to come but if you want some company I'm free."

"Sure, that would be great."-I knew that if she came she would try to convince me to agree to be healed. The scarier part was that I was kind of starting to think about it. I mean they would probably be just fine. Stop it Sydney. You are so selfish. You don't have the right to risk other people's lives.

"Who wants desert?"-I asked and with that we all continued the rest of the evening with more random conversations about the wedding and about our plans but I couldn't stop thinking about what I should do- allow my friends to heal me and risk their lives or to have less than 8 months with them and then disappear forever.


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry for not writing for so long. I've in an authors block but I think I got out of it. I hope you enjoy this new chapter although it is pretty short. I promise to make the next one longer.**

**Thank you for the reviews and favs. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

"_Who wants desert?"-I asked and with that we all continued the rest of the evening with more random conversations about the wedding and about our plans but I couldn't stop thinking about what I should do- allow my friends to heal me and risk their lives or to have less than 8 months with them and then disappear forever._

**Chapter 11**

It was the day I was supposed to go to chemotherapy for the first time.

"Do we have to go?"-I asked with a sad look on my face.

"We do!"-we were going.

Everybody wanted to come with me and one car wasn't enough. Me , Adrian, Jill and Eddie were in the first and Dimitri, Sonya and Amy were in the other. As usual I could feel the tension in the air and no one said a word throughout the whole ride. When we arrived there the nurse looked at us a little bit shocked.

"Sorry but we allow only two people inside with the patient since there is other patients in the room."

"Ok , I am one of the two people."-Adrian quickly said.

"I'll stay too."-Jill followed him.

"You don't need to. Me and Adrian will be just fine. He'll make me company. You go have fun with Eddie."

"I'm staying. I told you I wouldn't miss this."

"She should stay."-Eddie backed her up. "I'll go practice with Dimitri and Amy. I have too much energy since there's no threat in this town."

"Thank you for coming guys. I appreciate it."

"Next time is my turn."-Sonya smiled at me.

"Sure, I would love that."

They all turned back and went out. I wished I could go with them but I didn't have that luck."

"Let the fun begin."-I sarcastically said and went in the room where the chemotherapy was taking place.

I hated needles but thankfully that part of the process wasn't that bad. There were two more people in the room and they both looked like they had more experience than me. One of them was alone and the other one had a man next to her. The girl that was alone looked at me and observed me.

"Hi , I'm Peyton."

"Hi, I'm Sydney and this are Adrian and Jill."-they both waved at her.

"I know who you are. I actually transferred here to be with you."

"Oh, yeah Doctor Carter told me about you. So what type of cancer do you have?"

"Lung cancer. How about you?"

"Blood."

"Nice."-she joked. I liked that. I liked how she said it as if it wasn't a big deal. It was nice to have someone not so worried.

It had been three hours since the procedure had started and I was already feeling nausea.

"I thought I was supposed to feel sick after, not while the chemotherapy."

"Don't worry. It gets better with time."-she assured me. "So you two are getting married."-she looked at my ring.

"Yes, we are!"-I proudly said. Adrian wasn't just a guy. He was handsome, smart, nice, loving. There weren't a lot of guys like him anymore so I was always proud to be known as his fiancé. "Do you have a boyfriend or a husband?"

"No."-she said it very quickly which made me think there was something more to that "no" but I didn't push her.

"Are you alone here?"

"Yeah, I kind of needed to get away, I want to stay on my own for awhile."

With that our conversation got to its end. After that we played some "Scrabble" and watched a movie. I was feeling so weak that by the end of the procedure I couldn't move my body. Peyton had left an hour ago and she didn't look as exhausted as I was. Adrian saw I couldn't move and gently took me in his arms while a tear drop escaped my eye but thankfully he didn't see it. Was this it? Would it be like that every time – me not being able to move or even say anything?

"Sydney please don't cry. You will be fine."-I hadn't realized that my single tear had become a very loud crying. Adrian was trying to calm me down but didn't succeed at it. He laid me on the back seat and Jill took my head on her legs as a pillow. With that I feel asleep and escaped in the land of dreams. I did feel someone carrying me again and then laying me down again but didn't open my eyes.

Adrian POV

I took Sydney to bed and left her with Jill. I had asked Sonya and Dimitri to come over so that we can work some more on the research about the healing while Sydney was asleep. They had arrived and were both sitting on the couch.

"So did you find something more about it?"

"No, I went through so many books but I didn't find anything that we didn't already know."

"And we probably won't find anything else so maybe we should start making a plan about how this is gonna work."

"But Adrian she hasn't agreed. How are we supposed to heal her without her permission?"

Dimitri's cell phone rang and interrupted our conversation.

"Hi love!"-it was Rose. "What? Is everybody ok?"-what the hell had happened? Me and Sonya waited in anticipation. Dimitri turned his head to me."Will it be a problem if Lisa and Rose stayed in your apartment?"

"No, of course not."-he continued his conversation and the moment he was done talking to Rose we both asked at the same time: What happened?

"Nothing guys ,calm down. They're fine but there was an accident with a moroi girl , who really looked like Lisa and they are a little bit worried."

"Is the attacked girl ok?"-Sonya asked.

"She's in the hospital. Thankfully there was two damphir guys who saved her."

"So when are they coming here and are they bringing anybody with them?"-I asked impatiently. As much as I wanted them to come here if they were bringing their army I wouldn't be very happy. Sydney was sick and needed to rest as much as possible.

"They'll be here as soon as possible and they probably won't be bringing anybody with them. They don't want to drawn attention to themselves."

**Sydney's POV one day later**

I was awakened by my very annoying phone. I still wasn't feeling very well but at least now I could move. It was a hidden number.

"Hello?"-I answered a little angrily.

"Sydney?"-I could recognize this voice everywhere.

"Mom?"-it was so good to hear her voice but in the same time not so good. If she was calling it meant that alchemists had found out I was sick.

"Sydney, are you ok?"-she sounded very worriedly.

"I'm fine mom. How are you? What happened to Zoe?

"She's here. They haven't taken her yet."

"Good. Don't worry mom. I'll make sure they never take her."-I didn't know how I was going to do that but all I knew was that my mom needed comfort and that I needed to take care of my little sister.

"Sydney I received this letter."-this wasn't good.

"What letter mom?"

"It said you were sick and that you were dismissed from your service for the alchemists."

"What?"-nobody had told me I wasn't an alchemist anymore.

"Sydney, do you really have cancer?"-I could hear how she was about to cry.

"I…"-I just didn't know what to say. It was not like I could hide it forever. She would eventually find out I had died. Maybe it was better to say goodbye now.

The lack of my answer confirmed it. She started crying on the phone.

"What did dad say?"

"I haven't told him."

"What? You haven't told dad."

"I wanted to make sure it was true. I didn't want to get you in more trouble. We will send you a ticket to fly here and we will take care of you."

"Mom, I can't come."

"What do you mean you can't come? You can't go through this alone. Please just come back home and we will discuss what we're going to do about this."

"The thing is I'm not going through it alone. Mom , I met someone."

"I am very happy for you but I'm sure he would understand that you need to be near your family in times like this."

"Mom I'm engaged."

"You're what?"-I could feel the hurt in her voice. She couldn't believe I was living this whole different life she didn't know a thing about.

"I would love it if you came to the wedding but I'm not coming home and I would really appreciate it if you didn't tell dad about me being sick."

"Sydney, he's your father. He loves you. I can't leave him out of this."

"Mom we both know he doesn't care about me and I will never consider him my father."

"Please Sydney!"-she continued crying.

"Mom are you coming to the wedding or not?"

"Sydney I can't come, I can't lie to him."

"I have to go mom."-I couldn't continue this conversation. I was going to cry too and I didn't want her to hear that.

The moment I hang up my phone , Adrian opened the door. He had been here the whole time but he knew I needed this conversation and didn't want to interrupt it.

"How much did you hear?"-I asked with a shaking voice.

"Enough. I am so sorry."-he sat next to me and took me in his arms but soon I calmed down and stopped crying.

"Why do you always save me?"-I asked him with the most loving look in my eyes.

"The same reason you always save me- I love you."-I kissed him and again, and again. We continued kissing for a long time. I started taking off his shirt. It was time to have him again in every way possible. He started kissing my neck and continued with touching absolutely every piece of skin that was exposed. I continued undressing him and kissing his beautiful lips whenever I had the chance. He started taking off my clothes when we were interrupted by an unexpected guest.

"Surprise."-I don't think she expected to see this exactly. "Oh my God , guys I'm so sorry."

"I am too."-Adrian stopped kissing me annoyed.

"Me three."-I smiled and gave him a quick kiss.

**Sorry to leave it without telling who it is but you probably all know anyway.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey everybody! Sorry for not updating for over a month but I've been very busy. I was traveling and I had lots of work for school. On top of that I had a birthday and I needed a few days to recover from the party lol. So anyways after all these excuses I finally have a free weekend and I had time to write. So thank you for all your patience. I also want to especially thank to AussieGirl16****, clarinetto14, pink n pretty barbie and PurplePineapplePrincess for always reviewing my story. Also thank you to everybody who have read and reviewed my story. Ok, I think it's time to let you read the chapter.**

**Thank you for the reviews and favs. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

"_Surprise."-I don't think she expected to see this exactly. "Oh my God , guys I'm so sorry."_

"_I am too."-Adrian stopped kissing me annoyed. _

"_Me three."-I smiled and gave him a quick kiss._

**Chapter 12**

It was Rose. This could happen only to us- get caught by his ex who I didn't know if approved of our relationship.

"I'll go outside and see what's going on."-Adrian said while putting on his shirt. I got out of the bed too but he pushed me back and ordered: "You stay in bed! That's an order!"

"That's not fair."

"You haven't gotten up for a long time and you'll get dizzy."

"Yeah and that's another reason to get out of here. I'm done with this bed."

"If you're done with this bed it means I'm done with being in this bed with you."-he gave me his sexy devilish smile.

"Maybe we should buy another bed."-I suggested.

"Nice try. Fine I'll take them here but I don't want you to get too tired."

"Adrian I have more energy than a person who has had 100 coffees."

He gave me another sweet smile and left the room. While I was alone I was wondering about how I should bring up our relationship to Rose and ask her how she felt about it. I wouldn't change my feelings to Adrian no matter what she thought of us but I just needed to know she was ok with it. While I was caught up with my thoughts I didn't realized the door had opened and Rose and Vasilisa were coming in. Rose walked really fast to my bed and hugged me so tight she stopped my breathing. When she realized that she let go of me but still had one of her arms around me.

"Sorry."-she said a little bit embarrassed. By the way she said the word "sorry" I wasn't sure what she was sorry for- for hugging me too tight or for me being sick.

"It's ok. It's nice to be treated as a normal person not as something so fragile it could break any minute."-I said the words looking at Adrian and for a moment regretted that had mentioned that. I knew how worried he was. I just needed to feel normal for a second.

"Well you can count on me for that. I'll make you take me all around LA and show me all the best places to visit."-I could see that she was trying very hard to look happy and positive but I could also see that she was worried and I was flattered that she cared.

"Sure. So how was your flight? Did you get in any trouble?"

"No, it was very relaxing. I heard you had your first chemotherapy treatment. Was that relaxing?"-she was trying to be funny but no one except me laughed.

"It was more relaxing than anything I could ever imagine."-after I answered there was awkward silence and I decided to change the subject. "Hello your majesty."- I looked at Vasilisa and the moment she heard how I called her she started protesting.

"Please Sydney, call me Lissa. It's not like we're strangers and I hate it even when strangers refer to me as "majesty"."-she said it as if it was a dirty word and it made me smile.

"Sure Lissa."

"I think it's time to let Sydney get some rest."- When he said it I could burn him only from looking at him.

"No."-I protested."Finally I have some company that is not you and you want to take them away."-I smiled.

"Actually I am pretty tired from the flight. When you travel with Rose you can never get any rest. "

"Ok let's go. I'll show you to your rooms. I assume Christian will be coming soon."

"Yeah, he had some things he needed to take care of before coming here but I think he should arrive here tomorrow."

Rose got up from the bed and started walking towards Adrian but I quickly tried to stop her.

"Rose, wait! I wanted to talk to you about something in private."

"You can talk about it tomorrow. I promise I'll let you get out of bed."-Adrian tried to make a deal with me but I was getting out of this bed tomorrow anyways and I wasn't planning on asking for his permission.

"No. I want to talk to her now. Please…"-I looked at him with pleading eyes.

"Fine but you have 10 minutes."

"Thank you!"

When he got out of the room Rose jumped on the bed next to me and wrapped her hands around my hand.

"So what do you want to talk about?"-she asked with curiosity.

"Well I wanted to talk to you about Adrian."-she smiled.

"What about Adrian?"-she knew what I was talking about but she wanted to tease me a little bit first.

"You know what I am talking about. You saw us kissing."

"That was you?"-I think she was in the mood for jokes. She saw I was nervous and she decided to give up on joking with me. "Sorry. I guess you want to know what I think about your relationship."

"Yes!"-I answered very clearly.

"I kind of knew. I mean I didn't know it was you at first. Dimitri told me he and Adrian were getting along very well and I knew that meant he had met someone who made him fall in love for real and forget about his hatred for Dimitri. Then Lissa received a letter that you were no longer an alchemist and that you were sick but we knew you were still in LA so it became even more suspicious and I assumed that Adrian could be the reason you stayed here and it turns out I was right."

"Are you mad that we're together?"-I asked not looking at her.

"Mad? Why would I be mad? I can only be happy for you two. And I am so thankful to you and you made Adrian come back to life. You helped him start believing again. Believing that true love exists, that life isn't pointless and it was very important for him to believe. I haven't seen him so happy since … you know what I don't think I've ever seen him this happy."

"He doesn't look that happy to me."-I said thinking of how much I had put him through.

"Believe me, you haven't seen him unhappy. He is just so worried that he is going to lose you. I can see it in his eyes. That's why he is so overprotecting which I know can be very frustrating but you have to let him take care of you."

"Thank you, Rose!"

"You shouldn't be thanking me- I should be thanking you that you managed to get the "fun Adrian" back."-just as she said it Adrian got back in the room and showed us his not so fun side. They both got out of the room and let me get some rest.

**Adrian's POV**

When I and Rose finally got out of Sydney's room I offered her to show her the room she would be staying in.

"Thanks but I think that I'll be staying at Dimitri and Sonya's place."

"We already decided that all of us were staying here while you two are in LA."-she looked at me but I could not read what she was feeling.

"You've changed so much."-she said while still observing me

"What do you mean?"

"The Adrian I knew was so much angrier and confused. She has changed you for better. I'm only sorry I couldn't do that."-I could see in her eyes she was sad about it.

"Do you want to go on the balcony and talk there?"-I asked her since I didn't think the hallway was the most appropriate place for this conversation.

"Sure!"-she nodded and followed me to the balcony. We sat down and stayed silent for a few minutes.

"I am so happy for you!"-she was honest."Sydney is so wonderful and she doesn't even realize it."

"I love her…"

"I can see that and I hope this can make you feel less hatred for me than before."

"I don't hate you, Rose. It's just that before I met Sydney I was so angry to you and now I realize that you didn't deserve it. Now I know what you meant about true love. When I was with you I thought I had it and I was in love with you but Sydney…. she loved me back and showed me what love actually was."-I could see that Rose was relieved that I didn't hate her but still felt guilty."Please don't feel guilty. If it wasn't for you I don't know if I would be with Sydney right now. Our actions brought me here with her and maybe if I wasn't so hurt and angry she wouldn't have tried to fix me and get to know me."

"So you forgive me."-she said with a tear in her eye.

"I forgive you."-she hugged me but when she let go of me she had a serious look on her face.

"She doesn't look good."-I knew she was referring to Sydney.

"I know, that's why I try to keep her resting because I don't think she realizes how bad her condition is."

"She has gotten as pale and skinny as a moroi , her lips are so dry and she looks so weak and I agree, she doesn't realize it."

"I don't know what to do, I want to heal her right away but she wouldn't let me."

"Dimitri told me about the risk and I know it is minimal but still I see her point. The whole point of you healing her is so that you two can be together and if something happens with you the point of saving ger will be gone. She won't be able to continue her life without you."

"I understand that but I **won't **continue my life without her either."-I said it a little bit louder.

"Hey, I'm on your side. I just want you to understand that it isn't that easy for her either. Anyways, enough about that, let's talk about something else."

"Like what?"-I could see that she already had something in mind.

"Like – Congratulations!"-a big smile entered her face.

"Congratulations?"-I was a little bit confused.

"On your engagement, silly."-she laughed and hugged me.

"Oh, thank you! Did she tell you?"

"No, Dimitri told me while we were waiting for you two to finish your little make-out session."-she laughed. "You don't mind, do you?"-she asked still with a smile on her face but a little bit concerned.

"No, of course not."

"By the way, what did you ask Christian to do? He didn't want to tell me."

"I asked him for a favor."

"What favor?"

"You always want to be in control."-I laughed.

"Oh, come on, please tell me."

"It's not something important. You'll see when he gets here. Just please don't mention it to Sidney."

"Fine, but when he gets here- promise me you'll show me."

"I promise."

We heard the door opening and Lissa showed up from behind it.

"Hey."- me and Rose said in the same time.

"Hey you guys. What are you discussing without my presence?"-she joked.

"Not much, just stuff."-I answered.

"Oh so you're not discussing your engagement of which we didn't know anything about until now?"-she said with a smile on her face. "Congratulations!"-she ran to me and hugged me very tight.

"Thank you! It means a lot to me that you two approve of it."

"Approve of it? Sydney is so nice. Why wouldn't we?"

"I don't know. It just makes me happy that I am surrounded by all these people who I trust and who trust me with my choices."

"Of course! So when are we healing her?"

"I haven't even asked you to help me yet."

"That's because you don't need to ask me. Plus you can't do this without me. I mean Sonya is pretty strong but I am stronger than both of you at healing."

"I know. Thank you."

"Adrian, I would do everything for you and I know that if I was in this situation you would help me two, right?"

"Of course I would."

"Ok, so I just wanted to tell you that and now I'll leave you two to talk because it's 2 am."

"Actually I think I'll be heading to bed too. I think we already discussed everything important to discuss and everything else can wait, right?"

"Yeah."-I agreed. "I have to check up on Sydney anyway and now that I think about it I am pretty tired too."

We all headed to our rooms and I got into Sydney's room. At first I thought she was asleep but when I listened to her breathing I realized she was awake.

"Are you fake sleeping?"-I laughed.

"You are in a good mood. Do you know for how long I've been waiting for you? Good think that Jill and Amy showed up and made me some company."-she smiled.

"Sorry, I got caught up with the girls."

"No, it's ok. Just please come to me and hug me."-she spread her arms and waited for me to jump next to her. I took my shirt and my pants and got in the bed next to her. I took her in my arms and kissed her forehead. "So what did you talk about?"-she asked with curiosity.

"You and how amazing you are."-I smiled and she laughed.

"Of course you did. So since Lissa and Rose are here, when are we getting married?"

"As soon as possible."

"Like tomorrow?"-she asked but I could see that she was joking.

"No, but maybe in three –four weeks. I think we can manage to make our wedding perfect for that time."

"It will be perfect as long as you're there."

"I don't think it will be a wedding if I'm not there."

"Oh it will be. I'll make Eddie and Jill get married."

"Then I'll make sure I come."

"Good, I thought so!"-she gave me a quick kiss and we both closed our eyes.


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey guys! This time I am posting on time. I hope you like this chapter. In it the girls will be picking the wedding dress and you can see the dresses on my profile. However you won't be able to see the wedding dress because I will show it to you in the wedding chapter. You will also see the links for the bridesmaid dresses and the dresses they wore in the chapter. That sounds like lots of pictures but they're not. So, I hope you like it and have a nice day.**

**Thank you for the reviews and favs. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

"_Good, I thought so!"-she gave me a quick kiss and we both closed our eyes._

**Chapter 13**

Sydney's POV

I woke up and the moment I could open my eyes I checked if Adrian was next to me but all I found was a note on his side of the bed. I reached to take the note.

_Good Morning! Sorry if you woke up before I came back. I am making breakfast. Please don't get out of the bed before I come to get you. If your totally awake call me and I'll come and get you._

_Love you, Adrian_

I looked around to see where the phone was and it was on my nightstand. I looked at it to see what time it was since I still hadn't gotten my alarm clock back. It was 10 am which meant that probably everybody was already awake. I was feeling great, even better than yesterday and I made the decision not to worry Adrian and just get up on my own. First I got up in the bed and didn't feel dizzy so I decided to see how my legs were working. I put them on the ground while sitting on the bed and then slowly got up. At first it didn't feel bad so I started to walk towards the bathroom but when I got in I started to feel dizzy and my whole world was spinning around. I tried to sit on the ground before I fell and I successfully reached it but then I passed out. Great, now I just proved Adrian right.

**Rose's POV**

We had all gathered in the kitchen except Sydney who was still sleeping. I and the other girls were helping Adrian make some breakfast for all of us while Eddie and Dimitri were setting up the table. I looked at the clock and it was 10:10 am. We were almost done with the breakfast. I moved next to Adrian.

"Hey shouldn't we wake up Sydney?"-I asked.

"Yeah, sure. I'll go check up on her and if she's feeling well I'll take her to have breakfast with us."

"Actually, can I go wake her up? I promise if something's wrong – I'll let you know."

"Ok, just give her these pills."-he handed me two little bottles."I forgot to give them to her yesterday so she has to take them right away."

"Ok."

I walked to Sydney's room and slowly opened the door trying to be as quiet as possible but when I looked at her bed – it was empty. I closed the door behind me and called her name.

"Sydney? Are you in the bath…"-I looked at the bathroom door and saw one of her legs showing behind the door. "Sydney!"-I said a little bit louder but not enough for Adrian or anybody else to hear me. I got in the bathroom and she was laying there unconscious. I started slapping her cheeks and throwing drops of water at her face until she woke up.

"Sydney."-I said relieved and took her in my hands for a hug.

"Please don't tell Adrian about this. It was nothing. I just haven't gotten up for God knows how long and I got a little dizzy."

"Sydney you passed out."

"Please."-she asked me with her cute pleading eyes.

"Fine, but if this happens again I am telling him."

"Thank you!"-she smiled.

I helped her get up and gave her the pills. After that I helped her get dressed although she didn't really need help. It was probably really from the reason she hadn't gotten out of the bed for so long. When we were ready we both got out of the room and I think she was really glad about it. Her room was probably the only place she had seen for the last few weeks. When everybody saw that we were coming they all started walking towards Sydney.

"Hey, Sydney it's so good to see you out of bed."-Sonya hugged her.

"Good morning, Syd."- Eddie said with a smile and gave her another hug.

Everybody did the same. It was obvious that everyone had noticed how much better she looked than yesterday. After that we finally sat on the table.

"So Sydney if you're feeling like going out I have a great idea of what we can do today."-Jill spoke first.

"I actually feel great so what's your idea."-Sydney asked with a smile on her face.

"I was thinking we could go wedding dress shopping since everybody knows about the wedding."

"That sounds like a good idea since we have less than a month."

"Gosh Sydney you're really making this hard on me as a maid of honor."

"Sorry Jill but the sooner we get married the better."-she smiled and gave a really quick kiss to Adrian.

"Are you sure you want to go for dresses today?"-I asked still concerned.

"Rose I'm fine, don't worry."-she smiled and gave me a reassuring look.

"Great, I already have a few stores in mind so we can go whenever you want."-Jill added.

"Actually I had another idea for today. I was thinking we could go on the beach. I bet you two haven't seen it for a long time."-he pointed at me and Lissa.

"That would be nice too."-I answered.

"Why don't we go shopping now and after we can go on the beach and look at the sunset."-Jill suggested.

"As long as Sydney's fine with it I'm fine with it. I don't want you to get overwhelmed."-Adrian looked at Sydney.

"No, it's ok. I am dying to go outside so the longer the better."

"Christian will be arriving today so I'll tell him to meet us at the beach."-Lissa said looking at Adrian and he nodded. Those two were up to something but I didn't want to mention anything in front of Sydney so I just gave them weird looks.

We continued our conversation while we were having breakfast and then got ready to go out. The girls were going to look for a wedding dress and bridesmaid dresses and the guys were going to look for suits.

We all got in the car and the girls let me drive while Jill was giving me directions. We arrived after 15 minutes and all got out of the car. When I looked at the store it looked enormous to me. The moment we got in we were greeted by a consultant and Jill told her that we had an appointment so she asked us to follow her. We all sat comfortably on what looked to me like very expensive couch. I saw that Sydney had also noticed it.

"Jill I'm not sure I can afford even the cheapest dress in here."-she said a little bit embarrassed.

"Don't be silly Sydney. You won't be paying for the dress."-Jill said with a smile on her face.

"I'm not letting Adrian pay for the dress."

"We figured that out so we decided that I and Lissa would pay for your dress as a wedding gift."

"No, that's too much. I can't accept it."

"Of course you can. At least let me do this."-Jill said with pleading eyes."I'm your maid of honor after all."

"That doesn't mean you have to pay for my wedding dress."

"In this situation it does. You are like a sister to me Sydney. I would do everything for you. Plus Lissa is paying for it and she is even richer since she's the queen if you have forgotten that."

"Of course I haven't forgotten that but I don't think her money should be spent on my wedding dress."-while she said it the consultant started walking towards us.

"Just don't look at the price tags."-Jill looked at Sydney with amused look but Sydney didn't have time to answer her before the consultant had arrived.

"Hello! My name is Samantha and I'll be your consultant today. So who's the bride?"-she looked at all of us since we were all in a similar age. We all pointed at Sydney."Do you have any idea of what your wedding dress should look like?"-she asked almost sure that Sydney would describe her exactly what her dress should look like but all that Sidney said was "No, I haven't had a lot of time to think about it."- And left the consultant in a bit of a shock.

"She hasn't but I have."-Jill answered right after Sydney and got a folder out of her bag. The consultant looked at the sketches and the photos and asked us to wait a little bit while she was looking for similar choices. After 10 minutes she came back and asked Sydney to follow her in the dressing room to try on the first dress. When they got back Sydney had a beautiful strapless dress on her. It was an empire gown with a sweetheart neckline and the whole skirt was embroidered with flowers. She looked beautiful in it and nobody could take off their eyes off of her.

"So what do you think, Sydney?"-I asked excited and wondering if she liked it.

"I think it's great but I don't think it's it."-she said with a sad look.

"That's ok. I don't like it either plus it would be crazy to buy the first dress we see."-Jill said reassuring Sydney.

With that she went to the changing room and came back in another 10 minutes. This dress was similar the previous one. Again it was strapless empire dress but this time it was a bit simpler. The different thing in this dress was that the skirt's fabric was tulle. She also had a veil on and really looked extremely beautiful. I could see that Jill had chosen dresses that would both show her beautiful body but still hide the skinniest parts of it.

"How do you like it?"-I asked again.

"I like this one better and I would definitely wear it."

"Still I want to see more dresses on you."-Jill said observing the dress very closely.

"Ok, let's go."-Sydney walked towards the changing room with Samantha.

When they got back for the third time I knew they wouldn't have to go back again for another dress. It was the perfect dress and everybody knew it.

"This is the dress."-this time Sydney spoke without anyone asking her. "It's perfect."

"You look so gorgeous."-Jill hugged Sydney and I could see a tear drop falling down her face.

"I don't think you need to try anything else."-I said and joined them. We all had a group hug and after we let Sydney go change while Lissa went to pay for the dress.

"The dress will be ready for a fitting in 5 day so you can come then and if there isn't any other corrections to be made you'll be able to take it right away."-Samantha explained.

"Great."-squealed Jill."We'll see you in 5 days."-I think she was more excited than Sydney.

When Sydney was ready we all got out of the shop but it we had a lot time before our meeting with the boys so Lissa suggested that we go for some more shopping but Jill cut her off and told her first we had to go for bridesmaid dresses and after we could go for random clothes shopping. She took us to a much smaller store but it was still pretty big and it was full of bridesmaid dresses.

The dress we all looked great in and liked the most was very simple but still very elegant. It was short, strapless and very comfortable for the beach since that was where the wedding was going to be.

After we were done with all the measuring so that they could make the dresses perfect for each of us , we decided to grab a bite and continue with the "random clothes shopping" as Jill referred to it.

Lissa wanted all of us to buy dresses for today for when we were going to the beach. Her excuse was that she wanted to take pictures but I knew that there was more to it. Of course I couldn't ask her because Sydney was always close to me. We all got short summer dresses. When it was time to meet the boys we all got in the car and drove to the beach. While we were still travelling Christian called Lissa and told her something.

"Great, we'll be right there."-Gosh, I hated that I couldn't get in her mind in times like this. "The guys took Christian from the airport and they are waiting for us on the beach."

"Wonderful."-smiled Sydney and I could still feel that she didn't suspect a thing.

We finally arrived there and it was time to find out what the surprise was.

Sydney's POV

I got out of the car and the first thing I saw was Adrian. I walked to him and gave him a quick but very romantic kiss.

"Hey"-I said quietly.

"Hi."-he smiled. I loved his smile. It was so beautiful but lately I hadn't seen enough of it.

After getting out of our private bubble of joy I greeted Christian, Dimitri and Eddie and got back to Adrian.

"So did you find a dress?"

"Yes we found the perfect dress. Of course it was one of my picks."-Jill proudly announced.

We got near the water and I took off my shoes and let the sand get between my toes.

"Did you find suits?"

"Yup and we reserved a very beautiful place on the beach. It is not exactly on the beach because Jill didn't want your dress to get dirty from the sand but it is on an upper level and you can still see the beach perfectly."

"Thank God we have Jill to think about this stuff."-I laughed and hugged her while we were walking.

"Hey Sydney, do you want to get in the water."-she said a little bit threatening.

"No,no,no… I think you haven't gone in the water for quite some time."-I started yelling. Eddie took off his shirt and ran towards Jill. He picked her up as if she was as light as a feather which she probably was and got her in the water. Jill started screaming but he didn't let her get out. Then I looked at Adrian who also started taking off his shirt and I noticed something on his back- a tattoo and I was surprised to see the words on his back.

**So, what do you think is on his back? Please comment and review!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hi guys! I am so sorry for not posting for so long but I had a very busy month. It was the end of my school year and I was extremely exhausted. Anyways – I finished my school year and I am very happy with my grades. I am sorry for leaving you with a cliffhanger. I have to say that there isn't much going on in this chapter but I promise I'll do my best the next one to be better. As always thank you for the reviews and favs. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_Then I looked at Adrian who also started taking off his shirt and I noticed something on his back- a tattoo and I was surprised to see the words on his back._

**Chapter 14**

"What…"-that's all I was able to say before he picked me up and pushed us both into the water. He had the biggest smile on his face. "I think I am having a déjà vu. Would you let me see your back again?"-I asked of him still a little confused.

"I think you saw what was written."

"I'm not really sure. I am actually pretty sure that I didn't see the right words."

"Sydney , the last time I asked you this question the moment wasn't exactly perfect so I think you deserve to be asked again."-I felt a tear drop streaming down my face. We were away from the others all though they probably knew about all of this because they were watching and letting us have our privacy. Next thing I know – Adrian was taking something out of his pocket which was under the water."So, Sydney Sage I am asking you for the second and last time- would you marry me?"-he showed me what was in his hand and it was a box. He opened the box and inside was the most beautiful ring I had ever seen. This type of jewelry had to be in museums, not on my hand.

"Yes, of course!"-I said and wrapped my arms around his neck and started kissing him. After a few kisses he pulled away, took my hand and put the ring on my finger. It fitted perfectly. I gave him a few more soft kisses and then pulled away myself and looked him in the eyes. "Please tell me that's not a real tattoo."

"It kind of is. Your name is a real tattoo but the rest of the words aren't."-he turned his back and now I was able to see. The whole tattoo said: _**Would you marry me Sydney**_? My name was in the middle and it was bigger than the rest of the words. It was golden – just like my tattoo. A tear streamed down my face and I kissed him again.

"Thank you…"-I mumbled between the kisses.

"Hey get a room."-it was Rose who was already running in the water towards us as the rest of our friends were doing.

"We will."-Adrian answered proudly.

They all greeted us and when we finally got out of the water I was freezing. Thankfully Jill had managed to take some towels and a few sweaters.

"So, that's what Christian had to do- take the ring?"-Rose asked a little disappointed.

"Yup."

"And why was I the only one that didn't know?"

"Because you're Rose. We wanted to make you suffer a little bit. It was fun. You were trying so hard to find out what was going on and nobody would tell you."

"I have to say I felt a little bad for you."- Lissa smiled at Rose.

After our little swim we all got back in the apartment to change. I was able to get a few minutes alone with Adrian but it wasn't too long before Jill came in the room and kicked him out so she could show me some of her wedding ideas.

"So I was wondering if you wanted to go out tonight."-she said with pleading eyes.

"Sure, you know I'm all for going out."

"What if it's a bachelor/bachelorette party? We can all be together."

"Wow you're fast but isn't it supposed to be right before the wedding?"

"I am not taking chances on losing one of you the day before your wedding. "

"Did you ask Adrian?"

"I'm asking you. I don't care what Adrian has to say."-we both laughed.

"Well let's go."-I said but I wasn't very happy with the thought of some striper sitting in Adrian's lap.

The moment I agreed I received a crown, a t-shirt and a badge with the words "**One last fling before the ring**" on them. When we got out of my room I noticed Adrian had the same once but in blue.

"So, one last fling before the ring?"-I asked a little provocatively.

"The only fling I'll have tonight will be with you babe."-he smiled and winked.

"So where will we be going Jill?"

"I have a place in mind."

When we got outside there was a huge limo waiting for us. The inside of it was very fancy. There were 4 TV's, a mini bar and lots of champagne. We opened a bottle and all took glasses.

Jill was happy to say a few words for a toast:"To Sydney and Adrian- I hope you have the most beautiful wedding and even more beautiful marriage…

"And babies."-Eddie added.

"We'll work on that."-Adrian laughed but I noticed he didn't mean it as a joke exactly.

I drank the glass on ex and took another one in my hand. I showed my head from the roof and felt the wind blow through my hair. The feeling was amazing. I felt so alive. I can't believe how much I had missed in my life. Before I met Adrian I had never felt this way. My whole life so far was so boring and unexciting. And if we forget about the cancer, my life now is perfect. I felt a hand on my waist. It was Adrian.

"Hey, beautiful."-he smiled and gave me a small kiss.

"Hello."-I turned facing him and gave him a much more passionate kiss. "Don't forget this tonight because there'll be a lot more of it waiting for you back home."

"Are you jealous Sage?"-he asked amused.

"No, I'm just saying that I can't wait another night to have you and since tomorrow we have some not so pleasant plans also known as chemo after which I won't be feeling very well I think I deserve a wild night."He didn't say anything. He just rested his head on mine and didn't let me go for the rest of the ride. When we arrived I was happy to see that we were going to a bar and not a striptease bar. The moment we got in I immediately felt old even though the people in the bar were one year younger or the same age as us they seemed much more immature than us.

We danced all night and drank lots and lots of shots. I was very drunk but it was a nice drunk, not as it was the last time. Adrian and I stayed very close to each other and he was able to show me how much of a good dancer he actually was. In return I kept giving him small kisses. For the first time in weeks I forgot about all our problems. I couldn't even remember where I had to go tomorrow and believe me this wasn't easy to forget.

All of the sudden I felt someone pulling me and helping me sit on a chair. I realized they had done the same to Adrian. I didn't like where this was going. Two people dressed as a police officer and a nurse showed up out of nowhere and started dancing around us. Before I knew it our stripers were missing their shirts. All of the sudden I felt how I got up and walked towards Adrian. I tapped the female striper's shoulder and said with a smile:"I think I've got it from here honey."She moved but she didn't look offended from my interruption. Adrian had an amused look on his face and he started getting up but I pushed him down on his chair and continued where his last dancer had left off. I felt a little stupid dancing around him but it was fun. When I was done with my dance I sat in his lap, whispered in his ear:"The rest is for tonight." and kissed him in the most passionate way.

Next thing I know- I open my eyes and it's already morning. I am in my room, in my bed with Adrian next to me with our clothes on. I guess nothing happened yesterday. I look at the clock and it is 7 am. We still have an hour before we have to get up. When I turn back I see Adrian's beautiful eyes and most importantly his smile.

"Sorry, did I wake you up."

"No, don't worry."-he smiles even wider and puts his arm around my waist pushing me closer to him.

"What happened last night?"-I asked confused.

"We both got really drunk."-he laughed.

"I didn't feel so drunk."

"Babe, after your little dance you could barely stand on your feet. In the end you fell asleep in my hands. At one point you even told me not to touch you because you were engaged."-we both laughed even harder.

"Well, I am engaged."

"Yes , you are."-I moved on top of him and started kissing him. I quickly removed his shirt while he was trying to do the same with mine. Next thing I know all I had on was my lingerie. Adrian was very gentle and kept kissing me in all places possible. In a few seconds even his boxers were gone and our naked skin was touching everywhere. I hadn't had so much pleasure since… never.

This time it was more different than the others. Our previous times were about having sex and this time - it was about having each other.


	15. Chapter 15

**So, I am back from Greece. I had wonderful time but didn't have my computer so I wasn't able to update. This chapter is very dramatic but hopefully it's not too dramatic. I hope you like it and please review. Your reviews make my day. As always thank you for the reviews and favs. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_This time it was more different than the others. Our previous times were about having sex and this time - it was about having each other._

**Chapter 15**

"We have to get up."-Adrian pulled out of our little make out session. But I knew what getting up meant. It meant getting out of our perfect bubble and facing the real world. It was facing the fact that I had cancer and that I had to go to chemo.

"No, I don't want to get up. Let's stay in bed today."- I pulled him for another kiss but after a few seconds he ended it.

"You know I love you, right?"-he smiled and started getting out of bed.

"Well, honestly I don't think the first few billion times you have told me that have been enough because I never get tired of hearing it."

"Let's go Sage!"-he said with a cheery voice but I could see in his eyes that he was faking it.

"Fine!"

After I got ready Rose, Adrian and I drove to the hospital. Jill had promised Lissa to show her and Christian around so today it was only going to be the three of us. I think their relationship had gotten better but they still needed to get closer.

The moment I saw Doctor Carter's face I knew there was something wrong. I think Adrian sensed it too because he tightened his grip around my hand. Maybe he saw her aura. What did he see?

"Hi, doc! What's up?"-Adrian asked trying not to sound too worried.

"We need to talk in my office."

"Ok, let's go."- I wanted to know what was going on as fast as possible.

When we got in her office me and Adrian sat on the other side of her desk and Rose sat on the couch.

"I have bad news."

"What can be worse than the news you've already given me?"-I asked very nervous.

"Your last results came out and they're not good, not good at all. It seems that the cancer is progressing faster than expected."

I stayed speechless.

"You might not have as much time as we thought. "

"Do I have less than five months?"-I asked trying to find out how much time I had left.

She stayed silent.

"Three?"

She still didn't say anything.

"Two?-my voice was getting more and more desperate.

"If we continue the chemotherapy, maybe."

"Well, let's go to chemotherapy then. Of course except if you don't have anything else to add. For instance if she has lung cancer or a gigantic brain tumor."-Adrian didn't show a single emotion on his face. If I didn't know him well I would think he didn't care but since I knew where to look for his emotion I was able to recognize the pain in his voice. Now I wasn't sad because of the short time I had left but because he was hurting. At this point my feelings didn't really matter to me. All I cared about were his feelings.

"I need to go to the toilet."-I quickly said and hurried before someone stopped me.

When I reached it, I took of my jacket and checked if there was someone inside. When I was sure I was alone I buried my face in the jacket and started screaming. How could the worse news somebody could give you get even worse. After I had screamed for a few minutes I calmed down and got back. Immediately after that they hooked me up. Doctor Carter said that probably after this time I would feel much worse since she had changed the cocktail.

After a few minutes Adrian said that he was getting out to smoke and that he would be right back and Rose followed him shortly after. Now I was alone in the room. Well, not exactly alone. Just now I had noticed Peyton. All though it wasn't hard to notice her I was too caught up in my thoughts.

"Hey."-she smiled when she realized I was looking at her.

"Hi."-I quickly answered."Sorry I didn't notice you before. I just received some bad news."

"What are they?"

"Well, I don't exactly have enough time to do the things from my bucket list."

"That sucks."

"How much time do you have?"

"Not much. But honestly I don't really have anything to live for anymore so I would be happy to give you the little time I have left."

"Don't speak like that. I am sure that there is someone that is worried for you and loves you."

"No, not really. The two people who have loved me are already dead."-she said it very calm. "I am kind of the black sheep in my family. I went to reeducation before they found my cancer."- Reeducation. This was the only thing that was worse than dying."So my dad doesn't really care what has happened to me."

"I am sorry."-for the first time it occurred to me that my life could be so much worse.

"Don't be. It kind of makes it easier to let go."-I nodded. I knew what she meant. I wasn't ready to let go but she was.

After a couple of minutes Peyton started laughing and I looked at her very confused.

"What?"

"You don't remember me, do you?"-remember her? All of the sudden I felt awkward.

"Remember you?"

"Well, I didn't expect you to anyway. I don't think you really approved of what I was doing back then but I can see that your point of view has changed."

"I am sorry but I really don't know what you are talking about."-I was still confused.

"About a year ago my boyfriend was killed by a strigoi. You came to clean up after the accident. I was too devastated to even move. I remember the way you looked at me. You didn't say anything but you didn't have to. I could see the disgust in your eyes, I could see that you didn't understand why I was crying. When the alchemists found out I had had a relationship with a vampire they sent me to reeducation. I had tried to quit my job as an alchemist but it looks like they only let you go when you're useless."-now I remembered who she was. I also remembered I did think all these things and I can't believe that I did. How could I have changed so much that I didn't know the person I had been before.

"I don't know what else to say except that I am sorry."

"Don't be. You don't have anything to be sorry about. You were taught to hate vampires. It wasn't your fault and I see that now your priorities have changed."-she smiled.

"Yeah, I guess they have."

I heard someone open the door and it was Adrian followed by Rose. He looked much different. He looked calmer. I think he may have used my technique with the screaming or something similar.

"Hey."-he leaned and gave me a small kiss.

With that my conversation with Peyton ended.

After a few hours I started feeling even worse than last time and even though my brain knew the pain was coming my body didn't. At the end of the day when I was done I couldn't move, I didn't want to move, I just wanted to sleep, to forget about the pain but it was too distracting for me to fall asleep.

I felt Adrian's arms around me knowing he had realized that I wasn't even able to ask him for help.

**Two days later**

I woke up feeling better but still the pain was far from leaving me. Adrian was next to me. He looked exhausted. I didn't even want to remember the last two days. Why did he want me to go to chemotherapy if it was causing all of us so much pain? It wasn't going to change anything. I would only earn one or two weeks and they would be spent in feeling even more pain.

I combed my hair with my hand and what was left in it terrified me. This wasn't supposed to be happening so soon. I wasn't supposed to lose my hair so soon. I couldn't stop myself and before I knew it I was screaming. Adrian's peaceful dream ended and I found myself in his arms.

"Hey, hey calm down. What happened?"

"My…"-I couldn't continue the sentence so I just showed him the hair left in my arm.

"It's ok. It's gonna be ok. Now you're just gonna have the excuse for a new hairstyle. Ok?"

"No, it's not ok. Nothing is ok. I am dying and there is nothing I can do about it."-I yelled and the moment I finished my sentence I regretted it.

"Nothing? You forbid me to save you and then you're unhappy that there is nothing that can be done. You know what Sage? Fuck you! You think this is easy for me? Do you think it's easy to watch you die in front of my eyes and not being able to do anything about it?"-he didn't let me answer. He just took his pack of cigarettes and exited the room. I didn't blame him. I would probably do the same.

A few seconds after he slammed the door Jill, Rose and Lissa got in my room and caught me crying.

"Sydney what happened?"

"Nothing, we just got in a little fight."

"Calm down."-Jill hugged me and whipped the tears from my face.

"Does he hate me?"-I asked her expecting she would know how he was feeling now.

"No! He is just angry and he is already sorry for what he said."

"He shouldn't be. He was right."

Nobody said a word. Rose and Lissa probably didn't know what the fight was about and Jill didn't want to upset me even more.

"So, will you help me with my new hairstyle?"-I asked trying to fake a smile.

"Of course."-Lissa answered.

First they made ponytails and cut my hair so that we could donate it and then they cut it with a razor. After they were done I didn't want to see myself in the mirror. I felt naked, ugly.

After lots of convincing I was fine the girls finally left me alone. Just then I was ready to look at myself. It was like I was looking at someone else. This wasn't me.

When Adrian got back in the room I could see the regret in his face.

"It's ok. Just please come and kiss me."-he did what I asked him to and then let out a tear from his eye. I didn't see him cry often. In fact he almost never cried.

"I like your new hairstyle."

"Please don't lie. I know it's ugly but I prefer to have it gone all at once than seeing it disappear every day."

"Get up."

"What?"

"Get up and sit on the chair. I mean it."

"Why?"-I asked but got out of bed and sat on the chair.

"I'll be right back."-what was he doing?

When he got back in the room he had all his tools for painting. After he arranged his stuff he sat on another chair.

"Stay still."-he warned me.

"What are you doing?"

"I am showing you how beautiful you are."

We stayed silent for a long time while he was doing all kinds of movements on his canvas.

"I'm done but you have to know that you are even more beautiful."

I quickly got up exhausted from the position I was in. He turned around his canvas and I was able to see what he had painted. The girl in this painting wasn't me, couldn't be me. She was beautiful, she was perfect.

"Thank you."-I said very quietly and kissed him.

"Now do you see what I see?"-yes, I did see what he saw. I may have not seen myself so perfect but he did and it was enough.

**Thank you for reading guys! If you want to see what Adrian painted or at least what I think he has painted you can visit my profile and see it.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hi, everyone. I don't even know if anybody remembers this story anymore. You've probably given up on waiting on me already. I haven't written here since the summer. I am so sorry about that. I guess I didn't really know what to write. When I first started this story I could definitely see what I was going to do at the end but now that time has passed I'm not so sure anymore. I guess you could call it writer's block although I don't really consider myself a writer. Anyways it's been a year since I started this story and I don't want to leave it like this. Now that I'm back I'll try to update more often. What amasses me is that people still read my story and honestly that's what inspired me. So now I will stop talking and let you read it if you haven't given up after this long note. Last but not least I would like to dedicate this chapter to my friend Annie who was the one that kept asking when I was gonna write again. As always thank you for the reviews and favs. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

**I would suggest to listen to "An Olive Grove Facing the Sea" by Snow Patrol while reading. It's a pretty depressing chapter for what I am sorry about but I had to write it that way. **

"_Now do you see what I see?"-yes, I did see what he saw. I may have not seen myself so perfect but he did and it was enough._

**Chapter 16**

Someone once said: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change things I can and the wisdom to know the difference." I can't remember who. I don't know if it's because of the cancer or because of the fact that I just don't care about stuff like that anymore. In my final days I've been thinking about change and what I've realized is that I wouldn't change anything. If it wasn't for my cancer I probably wouldn't be here now. I probably wouldn't be in the hands of the love of my life. I wouldn't have the friends I have now. If I were still an alchemist I would most likely be somewhere else, not with them, unhappy and not understanding what the point of life is. And now I got to the point of my life where I realized that my yesterdays are more than my tomorrows and it's been that way for a long time. It's terrible to know that soon you'll be gone. In less than a hundred years nobody will know I've existed. It's hard to except that life goes on no matter if you're in it or not. The part that I'm most worried about is that his life wouldn't go on. He, who gave me everything, the person who made me realize that life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. The worst part is that he is still trying to make those two numbers the same. And I don't want him to do that. I want him to stop my breath a few more times before my breathing stops forever.

"Hey what are you thinking about?"- he asked while kissing my neck.

"You, of course."

"What about me?"

"About how much I love you and how much I appreciate everything you've done for me and all the ways you've made me feel."

"Well I'm planning to keep doing that for a long time."-he smiled.

"We've discussed this. I am stopping my treatment and you are not healing me."

"I understand why you won't let me heal you but I can't understand why you want to give up treatment. This can give us more time together."

"More time with me sleeping, and puking, and being in pain, and not even having a good time from time to time. I want to spend my last days with you, not tied to a hospital bed around other people, who are dying, having needles all over my body and feeling like crap after that."

He didn't say anything. He was hurt that I didn't try as hard as he did and he was hurt that soon he would be lying alone in this bed.

"Anyways I don't want to talk about this anymore. I've made my decision. Let's get up."

He didn't let go of me. He just held me tight in his hands and it was one of the moments that I felt like I could read his mind.

"I'm scared. I don't want you to die. Please don't die. Don't leave me alone."- he whispered in my ear on the verge of crying.

"Don't be scared. I'm not, not anymore. It will be okay."-we stayed like that for a few minutes until he was ready to let go of me.

Our wedding was in a few days and we had guests arriving. We were gonna have a small group of people attending the celebration. Mia, a friend of Adrian, Rose and Lissa had just arrived in LA and we were all going out. Jill had chosen this beautiful restaurant. It was very colorful and it was exactly her style. Adrian asked how I was feeling about 40 times. Every time I answered I was great bout even if I wasn't I would've said the same because I didn't want to miss the little that was left of my future. While we were eating I kept looking at Mia. She was very beautiful and intelligent. She was perfect for Adrian. She lived at court and that would allow Adrian to go back to his friends and live with them. Maybe he could find happiness with her. The only bad thing was that I couldn't imagine him loving someone else, looking at somebody else the way he looked at me, going to bed with her and being woken up by her, having children with her, laughing and crying with her, spending his life with someone that wasn't me. I hated myself for being so selfish but I couldn't help it.

"Mia is very nice"-I said while I was getting in the bed.

"Yeah, at first she and Rose hated each other so I guess she wasn't always so nice but now she's pretty cool."

"I really like her. Do you?"

"Yeah, sure. I like all of my friends or else they wouldn't be my friends."-he laughed."I'm happy that you like them too."

"Does she have a boyfriend?"

"I don't think so. Why? Do you have someone in mind for her?"-_You-_ I thought.

I didn't answer. I didn't know what to say. What was I supposed to say- _Oh yeah I think that when I day you should marry her._ While I was thinking that I saw the expression on his face change. He had realized what I was doing.

"You think that you can just choose someone to replace you and I wouldn't be sad that you're gone? You think that I would ever look at someone the same way I looked at you?"- He was almost yelling. He was mad at me, at the world.

"You may not feel that way now but maybe after some time you will be ready. You can't live all your life alone and unhappy."

"If you die I won't live. The moment you're gone I'll be gone."

"Don't say that. Please promise me not to do anything."

"I can't"-with the he left the room shutting the door behind him.

**Adrian's POV**

I can't believe that she would think for a minute someone could replace her. I was so mad at her.

When I got to the living room Rose and Lissa were there.

"Hey, what happened? We heard you screaming."

"I don't want to talk about it. So, how is it going?"

"Fine I guess. I am making four rings for the four of us."

"Yeah that's a good idea but try not to loose too much energy. I'll do mine and Sydney's and we'll let Sonya do hers."

"No, it's fine."

"Believe me you're gonna need your energy. Just save it."

"Ok. So what's the plan? If she doesn't want to do it how do we force her into doing it?"

"We will do it after the wedding. I guess I'll just slip her a few sleeping pills and we'll go from there."

"I still don't know if it's a good idea. If something happened to any of you she will never be able to forgive herself or any of us."-Rose spoke for the first time since I entered the room.

"Yeah, and if nothing happens to any of us she will be happy that we did it."- Lissa answered.

"Rose is right. It is risky so if you don't want to do it I'll understand. It's ok to say no to me- you know that, right?"

"I am not saying no for the same reason you wouldn't say no if it were Christian who was in that situation. We are a family. We help each other out no matter what and we don't expect anything in return. I can't bear to see you if she dies so we're doing it."

"Thank you."

After a few more minutes I came back to Sydney's room. She was still awake.

"I'm sorry. I'm a total douche."

"No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have said that."

"It's ok. I know you're doing it because you love me but I can't think about that. Not now."

"Ok. Now please come here and kiss me before I start crying."-I did and for a moment nothing except us- here mattered. "I'll miss you. You know that?"

"I'll miss you too, baby."-I answered hoping that I wouldn't have to.

**Thank you for reading this chapter! I am sorry that it's not as long as the other chapters but I promise to write again sooner! **** Please comment and subscribe. It really makes my day and motivates me!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hello everybody! I know every time I stop writing for so long it looks like I have given up on this story but that's not true. I just have trouble figuring out what I'm gonna do and mostly writing it. But here I have a new chapter finally so I hope you enjoy it. I want to thank everyone who didn't forget my story and encouraged me to continue writing it. It's you guys I'm doing this for. **

**As always thank you for the reviews and favs. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

"_I'll miss you too, baby."-I answered hoping that I wouldn't have to. _

**Chapter 17**

Adrian's POV

It was dark. My heart and my souls were completely crushed and gone just like her. She wasn't here. I couldn't believe it. I was supposed to save her. I promised myself I wouldn't live without her and here I was all alone in this bed too big for one person.

Someone opens the door and I pretend I'm asleep but it's someone I can't fool. It's the only other person who I have loved this way and the only person who's been through this but fortunately for her not for too long. She sits on my bed and starts petting my head.

"Adrian…"-I open my eyes but I don't say anything because if I do the tears will come streaming and I know I won't be able to stop crying if I let them.

"You should drink some blood. You haven't since…"-she stops. She doesn't want to say it out loud as if she would admit it is happening. "We have a long day in front of us and you should get enough energy."

"Please leave."-I say quietly without making eye contact.

"No. You have to drink and I'm not leaving until you do."-she is holding a cup of blood."If you don't want it like that I can find you someone alive."

"Alive… if I were you I wouldn't use that word around someone whose girl just died."

All of the sudden the world I was in vanished and a voice rescued me.

"Adrian, wake up. It's your big day."- it was Jill sitting in my bed on Sydney's side but she wasn't there and I panicked.

"What, where is she?"-she realized the panic in my eyes and quickly tried to explain.

"She's getting a shower. She didn't want to wake you up because you looked like you needed the energy. Come on I'm taking you on a bachelor morning party. Just the two of us… and Lisa and Christian."

"Where are we going?"

"To feed dummy!"

"Ok just give me a minute to get dressed."-she got out of the room and I looked for a clean t-shirt. By the time I was dressed Sydney got out of the shower. It was so good to see her for real. I just ran towards her and took her in my arms. She started laughing.

"Good morning to you too! What's up? Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I just needed to make sure this was real, you were real."

"It is, we're getting married today. But now you have to go because it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride naked before the wedding."

"Oh, is that why we have bad luck?"- I suggested ironically and she laughed and kicked me out of the room.

We got out of the building with only one guardian – Rose. Here it was very unlikely to get attacked.

"So are we doing this tonight or tomorrow?"- Lisa asked with a very tense note to it.

"Tomorrow, I want to have our first night as a married couple without her being very mad at me."

"Plus it's never bad to get some…for courage if you know what I mean."- Christian joked and I kicked him very hard.

"Do we have to do anything special or we just have to focus our energy on her?"-Lisa asked trying to change the subject.

"We only have to focus our energy on her but that won't be too easy because alchemists are supposed to be "protected" in a way by our magic but since her tattoo has almost faded I doubt it will be that big of a trouble."

"And how do we know it's done, that she's completely healed."

"It said that we would feel it, something would change."

Sydney's POV

Everyone left the house to feed except Eddie and Dimitri but they couldn't be of big help to a bride so I called Peyton and invited her over. I really felt bad that she didn't know anyone around here and it was probably good to be around people in your last days. I should know- it was so crowded around me that sometimes I felt I couldn't breathe but they were my friends and they cared about me. They were the same friends that would keep Adrian from falling apart after I was gone and that would help him move on. While I was having another one of my dramatic moments which I had a lot lately, the bell rang. It was Peyton.

"Hello to the bride to be!"-she greeted me.

"Hello to you too, bridesmaid!"

"Really? You don't have to do it just because you feel bad for me."

"It's not because of that but I have to tell you one of the perks of having cancer is that people do things for you even without asking them so why not take advantage of it."-we both laughed.

"I brought the gift for Adrian."

"Cool, thank you. Let's go in my room. I want to see it."- I wanted to give a gift to Adrian but everyone kept following me around so it wasn't easy to do something secretly and I asked Peyton to do it for me.

"Here it is."- she gave me the small box and I opened it. Inside it was a very nice watch which I had chosen and on the back it had the words: "I love you! S". It wasn't very original but it was simple and straight to the point.

"Thank you for doing this for me"

"No worries. It was fun when I ordered it and the man asked me for my name and he realized it started with "P". And he was like "Oh sorry I must've heard the wrong letter"."

In the next hour we did our nails and talked about random stuff until the girls came back. The boys were still out probably doing last arrangements for the wedding ordered by Jill. I convinced the girls to go put on their dresses and do their hair while I would have some quiet time with myself for a change. When I was finally left alone I locked the door and took out a piece of paper and a pen and started writing. I probably wouldn't have another opportunity to do it.

_Hello my love,_

_I cannot imagine what you are feeling right now and I'm pretty lucky because I don't think I would bear loosing you. If you are reading this it means I am dead. I am so sorry that I can't be there with you but then if I was you wouldn't need me lol (trying to make a joke __unsuccessfully). __I want you to know that I've never felt happier in my life. The time I had with you made me realize I hadn't lived before I met you, not really. You showed me what it was to laugh without a reason, how it felt to be loved unconditionally, how everything in life was so simple but no one realized it, how all we actually need are people, people who make our lives more interesting, more fun, better. I probably sound so stupid right now. You know I've never been a writer and of course this is my first goodbye letter so cut me some slack. Please don't lose your whole life just because you lost me. Find someone else that can do the same for you that you did for me- make me happy. Don't feel guilty. I know I'll always be in your heart and you'll always be in mine or at least what's left of it (lol I know another unsuccessful joke). You know what - the dying me isn't very funny. Anyways I started wondering what my life would be if we never met. I realized I wouldn't have one. So thank you for being my first and only true love and giving me a taste of what life's supposed to be._

_Love, Sydney_

When I was done I let the girls come to my room and help me get ready.

"Is Adrian back?"- I asked eagerly while Jill was trying to do something with what was left of my hair.

"Yeah he's back but you can't see him before the wedding."- Rose answered for the third time.

"But I have to give him something before the wedding."

"What?"-Rose asked probably surprised how she didn't know.

"Oh my God, I think we should check if you and Adrian aren't related or something."

"Why?"- I asked surprised by Jill's sudden statement.

"He just thought of the absolute same thing. He wants to see you to give you something."

"Aww he's so sweet. I'm gonna go see him."-I hurried out of the room before someone could stop me and bumped into Adrian who was coming towards my door.

"Hey babe I was just coming to see you."

"I know Jill told me."-he wasn't too happy about it. "Don't worry she didn't say why you were coming."- I lied a little bit not to ruin his surprise. " I have something I want to give you."

"What?"- I handed him the box.

"Sage, you didn't have to do this."

"I wanted to."- I said and gave him a quick peck. "Open it."

He did and he saw the back of it and just took me in his arms and whispered in my ear: "Forever and always baby."

"Forever and always"- I repeated trying not to cry.

"It's my turn now."- he gave me another small box and I opened it. Inside it was the most beautiful necklace I had ever seen but what was the most special thing about it was what was written on the back of the heart-shaped stone: "_Yours_". "My heart will always be yours and yours only."

"I love you."- I said and broke down in his arms and we stayed like that for a while until it was time for the two of us to get ready.

When I got back in the room Jill looked both very happy and annoyed.

"Way to go Adrian for ruining the canvas I am working on aka Sydney's face."- My eyes were all red and puffy but I was sure Jill could hide that with some make-up.

The girls helped me put on my dress and Jill did my make up while Rose was taking care of my hair. By the time they were ready with their little project called "bride Sydney" I felt like they'd been doing it for hours which they actually had. After a long time of not looking at myself in the mirror they finally let me check out what they had created. What I saw wasn't someone I knew. The girl in the mirror was so beautiful. There was no sign of me being sick. Even my hair looked like it was cut like that by choice. Though I might have not looked sick I did feel sick but I wasn't sure if it was because of my illness or because I was just nervous for the wedding.

The time for our beautiful ceremony came and all of the girls were in the same limo and all the guys were in another one. Finally this was happening, we would officially belong to each other and I was pretty sure we were the first vampire and an alchemist to get married so it was like changing history, a little piece of history which no one cared about but it was there and that was enough for me. When I got out of the car I saw this woman dressed in a very simple blue dress. I wouldn't miss that woman anywhere. It was my mom. I was in shock. It had been so long since I'd last seen her and our last conversation didn't go very smoothly.

"Mom what are you doing here?"- I asked trying to sound like I didn't really care but I don't think I fooled anyone.

"The groom invited me."-she answered while she came towards me and hugged me. It was so nice to have her next to me, to be able to smell her light perfume and see her beautiful blue eyes. "I can't stay for too long but I couldn't miss this, I couldn't miss my little girl getting married so here I am."

"Where's dad?"-I asked pretty much sure what she would say.

"He has work."-she tried but I already knew the reason he wasn't here and I didn't really care. This man didn't really mean anything to me anymore. I had a new man in my life, much nicer and loving man.

"Would you like to walk down the aisle with me?"-I asked not wanting to hear anymore about my father.

"Of course."-she smiled.

"I've missed you mom."-I admitted while the two of us were waiting for the ceremony to begin.

"I've missed you too honey, you can't imagine how much."

"Are you staying for the reception?"-I asked with hope.

"I'm sorry honey but I have to go back. Your dad doesn't know I'm here and I think it's for the best if it stays that way so after the ceremony I'll be on the first flight back home."

"It's ok I'm happy you're here for this."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world. And I have to say Adrian looks like a really nice boy."

"You have no idea."-I smiled remembering what was about to happen.

**Thank you for reading. I hope it wasn't too bad. I know that nothing really happened in this chapter but I hope the next one will be more exciting! Next chapter- wedding! **


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